Welcome back boys and girls. You know the drill here. You send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org and I answer the ones I like. Send over your questions for next week and yours might be featured in the next edition of the 10k Mailbag.As always, names have been omitted to protect the guilty and questions have been lightly edited because you guys are atrocious at spelling and grammar. This week we’re talking fast food, the holidays, fitness, and more. On to the submissions.
What is the best fast food item?
At first glance, I thought this was going to be a challenging question. I mean do you pick something like the mcchicken because it only costs a dollar or do you go for something a little spendier that has more substance? There are a ton of options. I also had to decide what counts as fast food. I have decided that places like chipotle are really more fast-casual and don’t count here. This is limited to true fast food places like McDonald’s, Burger King (trash), Wendy’s, Taco Bell, and Arby’s (also absolute trash). I am also limiting this to main items, so sides like potato ole’s are not eligible. For what it’s worth, potato ole’s are the GOAT fast-food side. I could eat a fucking bucket of those and nothing else as my meal. After careful thought, the answer is Taco Bell’s crunchwrap supreme. It is simply the perfect combination of flavor, convenience, and price. I will not hear arguments to the contrary.A colleague here at 10K incorrectly suggested to me that the crunchwrap could be improved if the tostada shell inside were replaced with a Doritos locos tostada shell. This is wrong because Doritos are shit. Nobody should be eating Doritos unless they are 13 or younger or are high as balls. Someone get high and ask taco bell if they will be a Doritos locos shell in your crunchwrap. Let me know what happens.
What is the worst fast food item?
This question is actually much more difficult than the previous one because there are a shitload of bad fast food options. Where to begin? Everything at Arby’s is trash. A bunch of fast food places serve salads. I’ve never had one but the lettuce on the burgers is generally not high quality. I can’t imagine what a whole bowl of it would look like and I can’t even imagine how shitty it tastes. I’m never going to find out. I am going to exclude weird seasonal items like when Burger King decides they should serve the whopper on a black bun for Halloween. By the way, who the fuck thought that was a good idea and then convinced a huge corporation to just go ahead and do it?Anyways, after careful consideration, I think the answer is the taco from burger king. What the fuck was a place with burger in the god damn name doing selling garbage tacos? On a road trip, my brother in law actually ordered one and confirmed my suspicion that they are trash. Both Taco Bell and Taco John’s serve cheap tacos that are sufficient. There is no need to ever get a taco from a burger place.
How good are McRibs?
I’ll be honest I hadn’t had a McRib in over 5 years when I saw this question come in. I’m not sure if that’s because they aren’t always available or because I didn’t like it. In any event, I ventured out to the drive-thru today to get one so that I could answer this question. The things I do for my readers. I was pleasantly surprised. I haven’t got a clue about what kind of meat is on it. I’m pretty sure it isn’t pork ribs. It might not even be meat at all. I don’t care. It’s still pretty decent. It can be a little messy though so it would not be a good item to eat in the car. Overall I think I’ll give it a 6 out of 10. It’s not great but if you need a quick barbeque fix, you could do a helluva lot worse.
What is the best holiday tradition?
I’m going to assume this question is about Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and Festivus because Thanksgiving is already over and it would be weird to submit a question about something that already happened. I’ll be honest, I’ve never celebrated Hanukkah or Kwanzaa and Festivus is a made-up holiday so my answer is going to be limited to Christmas stuff. Sue me. Holiday traditions are largely dependent on what your family does for the holidays.
For example, if your family does the whole midnight mass thing on Christmas Eve, the best tradition is seeing how drunk or high you can get before you have to go. If your family does Christmas brunch, you should be trying to see how many mimosas you can suck down. Some of you may not be able to see your families due to the pandemic, so I am proposing a new tradition for you people. Spend the holidays reading everything 10K puts out and be sure to follow us on Twitter, Instagram, Tik-Tok, and Facebook.
What’s the best way to avoid gaining weight over the holidays?You’ve clearly never met me. I am not exactly the pinnacle of health. I tried to forward this question to the rest of the 10k team, but uh, we don’t exactly have any health nuts. You may have noticed that many of our bits involve drinking booze and/or eating large quantities of unhealthy food. Keep that in mind as this might not be top-notch advice.
Drink light beer? Mix your whiskey with diet coke? Smoke your weed instead of having edibles? Think about working out. Don’t actually do it though. Don’t worry about a little holiday weight gain. You’ll work it off when the gyms open back up in 2022.
What is the deal with the papadia?
I’m going to get one of these at some point and write a review but I’m pretty sure I already know exactly what I’m going to think. I just don’t know which one I should try. Do I try all 6? Do I make a custom version? No matter what I do, I don’t think it will be any good.
These things are an abomination. They are a pizza that they fold in half. A 10k colleague commented that a pizza folded in half is just a calzone. That’s true if you fold it in half before you bake it. The idiots over at papa john’s are folding them in half after they’ve been baked. There is a 100% chance these things were created when some minimum wage employee dropped a pizza while taking it out of the oven and it landed folded in half. This is a stupid ass creation but I guess they at least got rid of the CEO who was throwing around the N-word with hard Rs in board meetings.
If you want to be featured in next week’s 10K Mailbag, send me an email at email@example.com or hit me on twitter @billybrew. If you have thoughts about my answers, you’re probably wrong, but feel free to tell me about it on twitter.