Welcome back to another edition of the 10K Takes Mailbag. I don’t know how it’s even possible, but I think the questions you guys are sending are getting worse, somehow. As always, I have omitted your names so that nobody knows how stupid you are, but you know. You’ll always know. I have also edited some of the questions so that they make sense and also because one of you couldn’t correctly spell shampoo, which baffles me because it’s spelled exactly how it sounds.
This week we’re talking T-Wolves, ESPN, light rail crashes, and more. On to the submissions.
Who do you think the T-wolves will draft and, more importantly, who do you think they should draft?
Ok, I need to preface this with the fact that this question was emailed in on Thursday afternoon. Or put another way, nearly 24 hours after the draft happened. I was going to include a screenshot but it was so dumb I completely deleted the email. Anyways, I welcome all questions, but maybe sometimes give google a shot first.
Is there a way to avoid using way too much shampoo the first time showering after getting a haircut?
Oh, there certainly is. You simply have to remember that you have less hair now and therefore need less shampoo. Do I do this? Reader, I do not. I waste a whole bunch of shampoo not only the first shower after a haircut, but for like a week afterwards because I am an idiot and I do not learn. Then I tell myself how dumb I am and do the exact same thing the next day. It’s a vicious cycle. A cycle we must end. All shampoo bottles should be required to prominently display a warning that tells you to use less if you’ve recently gotten a haircut. Why is nobody in congress talking about this?
Are the guys at 10K participating in Movember?
For those of you who don’t know, Movember is an annual event that happens throughout the Month of November to raise awareness for men’s health issues like prostate cancer. Movember calls for men to grow mustaches for the month. While in theory we here at 10K are all in favor of the Movember movement, you may recall from #NoCutCorona that we are not a group that can grow good mustaches. We aren’t nearly manly enough for that. In fact some of our efforts at facial hair were downright atrocious. Perhaps we should recruit Ron Swanson to join the team and up our facial hair game. If anyone knows him, send him our way.
If you’ve got a good ‘stache going for Movember, hit us up on twitter @10ktakesMN with #Movember and we will retweet the best ones.
You’re a lawyer right? How do I get my landlord to return my security deposit?
Yes, I am a lawyer. I am not a landlord/tenant lawyer. Even if I was I wouldn’t be answering your question for free in the Mailbag (even though I know the answer). If you need help with a legal issue, hit me with a DM on twitter @billybrew or call my office. Mention 10K and I’ll give you a discount.
Is there anything good on ESPN anymore?
Aside from actual live games, no, there is nothing worth watching on that channel. I used to waste hours of my time watching the same sports highlights over and over. Those were the good old days. Now they have changed all their programming to be the same god damn show. They’ve taken the concept of having two people debate a topic and beaten it into the fucking ground. What’s even worse is they insist on debating the dumbest questions they can find. They ask shit like, “Is Lebron James any good at basketball?” and then have some jackass pretend to argue with a straight face that Lebron, in fact, is not any good at basketball. I’m getting angry just thinking about this shit. Make ESPN Great Again.
What is your wi-fi password?
Are you asking about my personal wi-fi password, or the one at my office, or the one at 10K HQ? Wait a minute, why am I seriously addressing this question. Don’t ask creepy shit like this. Makes me think you’re trying to figure out a way to murder JJ so you can steal his skin and pretend to be Kirk Cousins or something.
Where is your office located?
This question was sent by the same guy as the wi-fi one. I’m not telling you where my office is. Go make a skin suit out of someone else. (Do not actually make a skin suit out of anyone).
How do people manage to get in accidents with the Light Rail?
This is an excellent question. Light rail trains are stuck on tracks. This means that they can only go where there are tracks. Super simple concept. If you are not on the tracks, you cannot be hit by the train. Yet, people still manage to do it every year. Whether, in their cars, on foot, or on a bicycle, they still pull it off. It truly baffles me. The trains have lights on them and horns that ding anytime they get near a station or intersection. It’s almost impressive that people manage to get hit by these things. Anyways, I guess the answer to your question is because people are idiots who don’t pay attention to the world around them.
If you have a question you want featured, send it in to firstname.lastname@example.org or hit me up on twitter @billybrew. If it’s good and most of the words are spelled correctly, I might include it in a future mailbag. It doesn’t even have to be that good. There’s a pretty low bar around here.