Nothing like starting a blog with a sexy first sentence. College football starts in exactly 3 weeks…OH BABY! Also, no, I will not be saying sorry to any Nebraska or Northwestern fans who play during week 0. Notre Dame vs. Ohio State, Oregon vs. Georgia, and Florida State vs. LSU headline an insane week 1. Even our Golden Gophers have a Thursday night home game to get the weekend started. Does it get any better than that? Unfortunately, it could have if Minnesota Gophers recruiting got some help.Minnesota’s over/under for total wins this season is set at 7.5, which I actually like. Morgan, Ibrahim, and Autman-Bell returned to lead the offense, while 7 defensive starters stayed to run back a top 10 scoring defense. Chemistry and grit will carry this team a long ways. But when you don’t have the talent firepower to compete with the Ohio States and Michigans of the world, there’s only so much you can do. Now you might be thinking, Minnesota Gophers recruiting never has and never will be the same Ohio State. That’s where I say you’re wrong. That’s where I say the state of Minnesota owns the resources; they just aren’t using them right.
With the Name, Image, and Likeness (NIL) Policy, Minnesota should be able to recruit all the 5-star athletes they want. In fact, those players should be kicking down the doors to Huntington Bank Stadium. Why do I say that? Because the state of Minnesota is home to 3 of the most important companies for college-age boys. These companies are so crucial, I don’t even think monetary endorsements are necessary. Gift cards, products, and a little advertising from these Minnesotan grown companies should be more than enough to get every 5-star prospect in the nation wanting to call the land of 10,000 Takes home.
The Companies and The Endorsement Deals:
Best Buy: Gaming Set Ups, Every New Game, and Entry Fees to E-Sport TourneysWhen I was 18, I cared about 3 things…sports, video games, and we’ll get to the third topic later. I don’t think it would take much convincing if you promise an 18-year-old kid unlimited video game supplies. Additionally, this endorsement actually spans multiple layers. First, they would be the guy who everyone wants to hang with besides the 21-year-old freshman. That’s a big deal for someone leaving home for the first time. Second, there’s only so much time in your day when you’re a D1 student athlete. You need a crazy video game opportunity like this just to pass the time. Lastly, every athlete’s always looking for another source of income due to the risks of the game. Having unlimited opportunity to advance in esports becomes promising for the future.
General Mills: Unlimited Cereal for Life
This one’s a no brainer for a freshman athlete. First, it reminds anyone of home. A cupboard full of your favorite cereal as a child? Might as well be sitting in your family’s kitchen because they’ll never be homesick again. Second, unlimited food that never goes bad sounds perfect for the dorm room. It’s gotta be the easiest way to gain the needed pounds to excel at the next level. Honestly, it’s probably going to more of a dirty bulk, but who cares? Mass is mass. Lastly, imagine a glass bowl full of your favorite cereal. Whether it’s the dessert-for-breakfast Cookie Crisp or the near orgasmic Cinnamon Toast Crunch, shoveling mountains of sugar into your throat can’t be beat.
Target: $1,000 Gift Card Every MonthRemember earlier when I mentioned the only things 18-year-old boys cared about were sports, video games, and an additional topic to be described later. Well this is later. A $1,000 Target gift card acts as the sole key to every woman’s heart. An ”Advance to GO” card if you will. I can’t even begin to describe the amount of power this endorsement would yield. These freshman athletes would be showering your girl with candles, makeup, gluten-free/organic produce, and those little labeled containers and signs that tell you what room you’re in (in case you forgot). No other university on the planet can give their recruits the power of a red card that swipes its way into the DMs of any midwestern woman out there. It’s simply unfair.
Video games, cereal, and the key to love need to be offered in NIL endorsements to each of the best recruits around the country. The Gophers 53rd-ranked recruiting class could jump to the top 5 in ’23 with a few simple phone calls and meetings. This city and state have the resources, and now is the time to use them. Heck, why even wait? The current players on these Gophers’ rosters worked their asses off all summer and deserve the best we can offer. Soon enough, the 7.5 wins the Gophers project for will be 10.5. We just need to make some Minnesota Gophers recruiting moves no other state can compete with.
I’m just the ugly stepson of the 10K family. Part Minnesotan, Part Wisconsinite. Half best friend, half mortal enemy. Can’t live with me, can’t live without me.