Ugly. Putrid. Disappointing. There are so many ways to describe the Vikings season opener loss to the Buccaneers. This blog will not address anything that happened on the hallowed US Bank turf. I will however give you a few ways to get over the loss.
Self Medicate
I’m not one to tell you which drugs you can and cannot take in order to alleviate this loss. I can only direct you to game/life changing companies that provide such relief. Enter: Cultivated CBD.
Seltzers. Pre Rolls. Edibles. Whatever you need to calm down, the guys and gals over at CultivatedCBD have you covered.
Boat Rental
A sure fire way to eliminate bad memories from Sunday is to replace them with debauchery and alcohol, just like the 2005 Vikings. First step is to assign a boat captain. This guy will be the Fred Smoot of your operation. He is the one that needs to call Al & Alma’s to rent 2 boats large enough to host your party. Step 2 is to invite all your friends and some “entertainment” for the night. Step 3; do not let anyone in your party exit your boat and urinate on some random ladies front lawn. Follow those steps and you will forget about Baker Mayfield in no time.
Watch Caleb Williams Highlights
It may be a bit too early, and our roster isn’t as bad as Houston and Arizona but Caleb Williams is electric. I would not mind losing 14-15 games this year, (as long as JJ gets his $$ and 2,000 yards) in order to draft him. I get that he hasn’t played anyone good yet this season but he is the reigning Heisman Trophy winner. He would look unreal in purple and gold just slinging the ball around to JJ, TJ and Jordan Addison.
If none of these suggestions help you forget about Sunday just remember, the Vikings play the Eagles on Thursday. If I recall correctly, we usually rebound from a tough loss when playing those boobirds. SKOL!
29yo, 2 kids, former place kicker for the worst high school football team in Minnesota history. 2/2 xp, 0/2 field goals, led the state in total punts.