We’re back! This is officially a weekly blog and I couldn’t be more excited. Welcome to the 5 Things I Hate this Week Vol. 2.
Pick Up Your Phone!The absolute worst thing about having a phone. As I’ve grown older I have transitioned from a daily text to my buddies to a long 1-hour conversation on the phone in the middle of the week. Not only is it easier to shoot the shit while chatting, but there is also no hostility if the conversation gets heated and texts aren’t answered. HOWEVA, (Stephen A. Smith voice) God forbid I miss your call. You have a right to be angry with me, but if you don’t pick up when I call you back in under a minute all hell will break loose. Where could you have possibly gone that now you are missing my call?! YOU JUST CALLED ME 7 SECONDS AGO!
Sidenote: As useful and handy as smartphones are, I wish I could go back to the days of the mid 2000s. This Motorola Razr was an absolute weapon.
Crypto and NFTs
I don’t hate the concept of them, I hate that I don’t understand them. I try to think of myself as a pretty smart guy, (2.2 GPA in Community College) but I have no idea what they are and how to get in on the action. This portion of the blog is solely a cry for help to the finance/crypto bros. I have added a video below this and have watched it no less than 20 times and still can’t figure it out. So, if you are reading this blog and can help me out, just shoot me Twitter DM. Thank you.
Store AvailabilityIn Stock. When I see those two words I go from six to midnight. That crockpot, set of grilling utensils, or Pokémon cards I have been searching for is finally in stock, just a shame I have to drive an hour and a half to get it. When you are invested in the process you make that drive, no matter the distance. When you finally get to the store and find the customer service desk only to hear that they actually don’t have the item you came for, is morally deflating. It gets even worse, if you are at a Target you still end up spending $100 even though you didn’t get what you came for. (shout out @MeatSauce1 for the Target bit)
Nate from Ted Lasso
The worst person on the planet. Not even kidding. He has the gall to complain that Ted didn’t check in on him after building him up. (spoilers) Nate is lucky to even have a job because every sports fan knows that when a new coach comes in they clean house and fire everyone from the Assistant coach to an unlikeable “kit man” (British for “guy who does the laundry and lays out the shorts”). I hope he doesn’t win a game as manager of West Ham United.
My Pregnant Wife’s Food Cravings
Yes, I am a confirmed 3-time sex haver. I am currently batting 1.000 when trying to reproduce. But, this pregnancy is completely different. With the first two pregnancies, my wife had no issues picking what to eat or when she wanted it. Now, I will be driving home with her order of Taco Bell when she will shoot me what seems to be an innocent text like “hey did you get me food?” To a normal person that may seem harmless, to me, I just added another stop on my way home. That text means she no longer wants Taco Bell and their endless supply of delicious food, she now wants something completely different. (hopefully not Wendy’s fries) What started as a simple $7 food order has now turned into $20+ and I CANT SAY A SINGLE WORD ABOUT IT. She is after all giving me another child.
29yo, 2 kids, former place kicker for the worst high school football team in Minnesota history. 2/2 xp, 0/2 field goals, led the state in total punts.