…Yeah, it feels like one of those years for Minnesota Football.
I’m something of a glutton for punishment when it comes to the Gophers and Vikings, so I’m going to be on this pain train until it gets back to the station. I don’t expect everyone to do the same, and frankly, good for you if you don’t! In the spirit of improving your health and well-being, here are some ideas for other ways you can enjoy the season.
1. Go to an Apple Orchard/Pumpkin Patch
Fall is a wonderful time of year for seasonal activities! Get out there and pick those apples, jump in the corn pit, and carve those pumpkins! If you have a significant other, this is also the perfect way to get some killer pictures for the gram! She’ll be happy, you’ll be happy, everyone will love it!
2. Spend Some Time Planning a Great Halloween Costume
Even more than normal, this is not the year you want to go out in your Randy Moss jersey and look like a bum when everyone else is dressed up. Put some thought into it! Bust out the hot glue gun and felt! If you’re creative enough, you’ll be the talk of the town, everyone loves a good costume!
3. Start Seeing a Therapist
Look, the Vikings making us all sad and depressed is a good time to acknowledge all the other things that make you sad and depressed. While a therapist can’t help Mattison stop fumbling the ball, they can help you stop fumbling your mental health. Take this time to work on yourself.
4. Reconnect With Your Estranged Family
Things get away from you when your teams are winning. Maybe you’ve said some hurtful things to your Badger fan uncle. While eating crow is never fun, maybe it’s time that you realize what’s important in life; also, they really don’t take it this seriously, and just want to maintain a relationship with you. Football is a game, but family is forever.
5. Buy Back in When We Beat a Nobody
CAROLINA NEVER STOOD A CHANCE! MINNESOTA IS SO BACK BABY!!!! VIKINGS ARE GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL, THE BIG TEN RUNS THROUGH MINNEAPOLIS!!! FORGET EVERYTHING I SAID, YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR PRIORITIES ARE, AND THAT’S WITH MINNESOTA FOOTBALL!!
6. Get Your Heart Broken for Choosing to Believe.
Probably in a divisional game. Just when there’s a sign of life, we’ll give our seasons away. As snow covers the state, we’ll all grow bitter once again about our cursed teams, doomed to wander through mediocrity until the end of time.
7. Spend all of Thanksgiving Ranting About How it’s the Wild’s Year
Kaprizov is a generational talent, and Boldy is making leaps and bounds every single day! So this year was a bust for the Vikings and the Gophers, we’re the State of Hockey, baby!! It’s time to focus on the boys that’ll bring it home for us!
Former wrestler, Current football watcher, Future president.
Alter-Ego of the Packer Punisher.