Minnesota Grandmas Hate KFC

A Minnesota Grandma HATES KFC

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I knew high school and college kids were obsessed with Chick-Fil-A and Raising Cane’s. They’re guzzling tendies like chickens are going extinct, and they’re swimming in special sauce like they’re Phelps at the Beijing Olympics. Even worse, that’s probably not the only similarity they share with him! All this popularity leads to seeing those companies’ advertisements everywhere. Barstool podcasts, Timberwolves games, _______, you name it. However, it’s one thing to corrupt the minds of this country’s youth, social media already took care of that. But to brainwash the minds of our elders? Now, that’s criminal. Chick-Fil-A and Cane’s have taken it too far with our Minnesota Grandma’s.

85-year-old woman drives car into Lakeville KFC. CBS Minnesota.

Oh yeah, that’s a hatchback inside the walls of the Lakeville KFC. If you were thinking that’s what you’re seeing, you’re right. First and foremost, nobody was hurt in the crash. Second and second most, this was not an accident. Let’s dive into the research.

Option 1: Minnesota Grandma Crash was an Accident

Literally, there’s zero evidence. I guess you could maybe reason that a Minnesota grandma driving at 85-years-old isn’t the easiest. Maybe someone could also say things like this happen. Another could bring up the police report that ruled it as “driver-error.” To me…those things are all hearsay. Let’s get down to the cold. hard. facts.

Option 2: Minnesota Grandma Crash was a Conspiracy

Exhibit #1: Refer back to the intro paragraph. Chick-Fil-A and Rising Cane’s will do anything and everything to make sure they’re the predominate fast food chicken joints in the nation. After a quick analyzation of Wikipedia the research, KFC’s still the chicken king with almost 27,000 locations and 31.3 billion in yearly revenue. The two young-buck companies need to make sure the younger generation only knows their chains.

Exhibit #2: The angle of entry into the building speaks volumes to a conspiracy.