Anna Kane, Ryan Hartman, and NHL Fans Remind The World Nobody Likes Evander Kane

Evander Kane is a scumbag. We’ve talked about this at length before. So when noted dickhead Evander Kane went after Kirill, well… It didn’t end well for him.

Kane is, unfortunately, a very good hockey player. Which is why he keeps getting chance after chance in the league despite his teammates hating him, fans hating him, and his myriad of personal issues. But going after Kaprizov is a one way ticket to trouble. Hartzy and every Wild player on the ice immediately go after Kane.

WE ARE ALL RYAN HARTMAN #mnwild pic.twitter.com/n0ziXQXejV

— Wild Takes (@WildTakes10k) April 13, 2022

Evander Kane: Softer than baby poo, dirtier than an oil spill, colder gambler than Bossman

"It felt like an elementary school fight and 5 little kids were trying to wrestle me, and Hartman was like the one kid who just learned how to give the middle finger from his older brother, but would tattletale to all the teachers when his feelings were hurt" – Evander Kane pic.twitter.com/x2RyPf4BWU

— Edmonton Oilers “Interviews” (@EdmOilersThots) April 13, 2022

So when Kane acts like a soggy cheeto about it after the fact, it should come as no surprise. Also something that is no surprise is how Hartman drops the quote of the year.

Ryan Hartman on Evander Kane and protecting Kirill Kaprizov: “It goes to show, we had five guys in there. They didn’t have one guy in there to help him. I don’t think any of their guys are going to defend him.”

Hartman said if he’s fined for his gesture, it’ll be “well worth it”

— Michael Russo (@RussoHockey) April 13, 2022

Well worth it, indeed. For his troubles, Hartzy was fined $4,250, the maximum allowable fine under the CBA. Instantly, DoPS replies are flooded with fans saying it was worth it. Moments later someone posts Hartzy’s Venmo which IMMEDIATELY begins filling up with Wild fans and fans from around the league.

Everyone who has Venmo'd Ryan Hartman in the last HOUR helping him pay for the fine he received for flipping off Evander Kane.#mnwild fans are truly the best pic.twitter.com/XIJIYUiC2H

— 10,000 Takes (@10k_Takes) April 13, 2022

Enter: The Ex-Wife

Anna Kane, Evander’s ex-wife, sent Ryan Hartman money to help pay his fine pic.twitter.com/VLNRYIcEiW

— Caylee (@2kaRask) April 13, 2022

The real coup de grâce is Evander Kane’s ex-wife Anna contributing to the “Fuck Evander Kane” slush fund. Anna is (or at least was, before Kane stopped being able to pay his bills) receiving alimony from Evander. Which means $200 of Hartzy’s $4,250 fine comes indirectly from Kane’s contract. That’s just beautiful. True poetry.

When you get flipped off and the moment goes viral and everyone not contractually obligated to defend you says it’s a long time coming, you know that you’ve made a mistake in life, somewhere down the line.

If you want to contribute to the Ryan Hartman Relief Fund, or just want to see how many people are donating, a link to his Venmo is above and also right here. This isn’t the first time a Wild player has gotten toasty with an opponent, of course, but I think Hartman flipping the bird might be the funniest now. But the competition is close.

It was brought to my attention that the gif of Moose yelling "Fuck you, Kuemper" was incomplete, so I went and found the complete one. pic.twitter.com/0F4ApInpxa

— dev 🦚 (@minnebama) April 21, 2021

Maybe Evander Kane will stop acting like a baby back bitch. Maybe Oilers fans will take off their delusion goggles. Or, more likely, nothing will change and the Oilers will waste yet another year of Connor McDavid and Leon Draisaitl’s primes.

The craziest thing about this is somehow Hartman flipping Kane the bird wasn’t even the craziest thing to happen in the Twin Cities last night…

UPDATE: OUR KING HAS SPOKEN

Wow….overwhelmed by the amount of donations I have received to help pay for my fine. You fans are amazing. I will be paying for it with my own money, but wanted to let everyone know that any money sent to me by 7 pm on Friday will be donated to Children’s Minnesota.

— Ryan Hartman (@RHartzy18) April 14, 2022

God Bless Hartzy. The Birdman is a true beauty.