We have reached the greatest sports month of the year.
Sure, sex is great, but have you ever realized how great the month of April is for sports fans? After COVID took a shit on all of our hopes and dreams last year canceling March Madness and postponing The Masters… we should all count our lucky stars. March Madness Men & Women’s Final Four & Championship, The Masters, MLB Opening Day, NFL Draft, NHL games, NBA games, you fucking name it. We have reached the pinnacle of sports-watching and all you need to do is just sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.
NCAA March Madness
My bracket, like many, was busted when Illinois lost the first weekend. The silver lining to that? I can just sit my ass on the couch with a beer in hand and watch the best game of the season with zero skin in the game. Well, that is unless you’re just a degenerate gambler and want to bet on it, which I completely encourage and respect.
The Masters
Even without the GOAT, we have so much to look forward to this Masters. All the other top dogs are playing. Spieth is back. Koepka intends to play despite the injury. Bryson will try to redeem his shitty performance last year. DJ tries to defend last year’s win. So many storylines, not enough time, BUT let’s look at some odds for you degenerates out there.
Masters Odds (50-1 or better)
Dustin Johnson 9-1Jordan Spieth 10-1
Justin Thomas 10-1
Bryson DeChambeau 11-1
Jon Rahm 12-1
Rory McIlroy 14-1
Xander Schauffele 22-1
Patrick Cantlay 22-1
Brooks Koepka 25-1
Patrick Reed 28-1
Collin Morikawa 30-1
Lee Westwood 30-1
Tony Finau 33-1
Daniel Berger 33-1
Viktor Hovland 33-1
Webb Simpson 35-1
Hideki Matsuyama 35-1
Cameron Smith 35-1
Sung-Jae Im 35-1
Scottie Scheffler 35-1
Tyrrell Hatton 35-1
Paul Casey 40-1
Tommy Fleetwood 45-1
Matthew Fitzpatrick 45-1
Jason Day 45-1
Sergio Garcia 45-1
Joaquin Niemann 50-1
Bubba Watson 50-1
Where is the value?
You are going to see a lot of people on Cam Smith, as they should, at that value. After taking 2nd place to DJ last year, his putting could toss him into the final mix come Sunday. As much as we might hate him, Patrick Reed has won this tournament before and he can certainly do it again. On a year of the Ryder Cup, there’s nothing more on-brand than Reed sticking it to all golf fans and taking the green jacket. My favorite bet though, Xander Schauffele at 22-1. $25 on Xander could net you a profit of $550. I know that he has a tendency to crumble a bit down the stretch in majors but this is a total “He’s Due” play. Xander is far too elite of a golfer to not win a major at this point in his career. He finished T-2nd at Augusta National in 2019 when Tiger won, but this year, I think he wins it all.
After winning the Valero last week, Jordan Spieth is back and fuck you if you say otherwise. At 10-1, it’s a bit too rich for me, HOWEVER, he’s the best iron player in the game this year and his record at the Masters is plenty to be excited about.
MLB Opening Day
Baseball is back and through the first series of the season, it is beautiful. The Yankees are getting beat up by the Blue Jays, the Red Sox are getting swept by the *checks notes* Orioles?! The Twins take the opening series against the Brewers. Not all was great though. The cheating Houston Astros are 4-0 after wiping their ass with the Oakland A’s.
Is there anything better than Opening Day though? It always seems like the weather is perfect. Games start before noon and go all day long. You can sit at work, check the scores (or just watch the damn game), then when you get off of work, you go home to your cave, open a beer and just watch baseball all day long. You don’t have to move a muscle all day.Also, now that ballparks are going to allow fans, you can fully expect a @10ktakesMN Target Field outing. The world isn’t ready for a Bubba dollar dog eating contest, but they just might get it. Hopefully, we don’t have to carry anyone out of the game for being too fucked up *cough, Bossman, cough*
NFL Draft
Saving the best for last on this one. Being a fan of shitty teams forces you to love the NFL Draft. Even if your team is good, you still get to spend two hours getting shitfaced at your buddy’s place while eating junk food and watching teams ruin their future by taking guys like Johnny Manziel with their 1st Rd pick, make up games with your friends and put a little money down. Each of you fills out a mock draft, whoever gets the most right, wins the money. Or just make drinking games. Every time there’s a trade, take a shot. Anytime a team reaches on a player you have never heard of, shotgun a beer.
Personally, me and my friends get together every draft and it might as well be a holiday. We all take off work the following day because we know we will be waking up still drunk, trying to remember the second half of the NFL Draft. We always cater in food. Ordering pizza is great, but this sporting event deserves better. Last year, this was how we did it. Canes, Twisted Teas, beers, liquor, and overall just the best time hooting shit at the TV all night. If you’re interested in joining the squad this year, slide into my DM’s. You just have to be a good sport and like talking shit about the New York Jets.
3rd & Forever
If you know nothing about the NFL Draft, this is still a perfect time to block off a Thursday night and have an excuse to get together with friends. It’s also a perfect time to listen to the @3rd_Forever10K Podcast with The Draft Network’s own, Trevor Sikkema. You can listen to it below. Trevor and the 3rd & Forever crew talk all about the NFL Draft, Vikings, Packers, and much more. The 1st Round of the NFL Draft is Thursday, April 29th so make sure you finish off the month strong with my personal favorite event of the year.