Recently I went to this wedding (it was mine) where the groom (which was me) gave what I’m pretty sure is the best groomsman gifts of all time. There’s nothing wrong with the staples, a flask, cigars, whiskey, maybe a tie and belt. I have no issue with those things but I was really aiming for something that nobody would expect and that has never been done before–or at least something I’ve never seen done before.I wanted a chance at giving the best groomsman gifts ever.
So I bought custom swords.
“Is this a f***ing sword?!” was gleefully asked when my guys opened their groomsman gifts
There’s no exact reason behind the swords. I don’t have a giant collection of sweet swords hanging from my wall. I didn’t even realize until after the fact that these swords are based on one from Lord of the Rings. I’ve had so many people ask me Lord of the Rings questions now and I have to stare at them like I’m Aaron Rodgers trying to figure out why LaFluer decided to kick a field goal.
I know nothing about swords, I just think they’re cool.
But I mean, come on. SWORDS.Forget hot boy summer, this is sword man summer. Do you want to feel like a badass? Own a sword. There’s no science supporting this claim but owning a sword does make you cooler. Just look at this picture. This is very possibly the coolest I have ever looked in any picture. Why is that? Swords. Best groomsman gift? Swords.
Have you ever seen someone this jazzed over a flask? I think not.
I mean just look at how happy he is.
Are people taking these pictures with the gift of socks? Nope.Also the place we got married had this awesome old truck, which led to some pretty sweet pictures when you’re wielding a blade of glory. But the moment we saw this truck and our swords we knew what had to be done to this picture.
Will your bottle opener gift lead to a Mad Max photo? Unlikely.
We took a ton of sword pictures. But why wouldn’t you?
We touched tips.
I’m going to guess in most cases a photo of the groom and groomsman all touching tips would be found unacceptable. When you have swords? No problem at all. Best groomsman gift? SWORDS.
Have you ever seen people this excited over getting a new wallet? Big nah.
Also shoutout to Amazon on these suits that were like $150. I’m not going to lie, I was feeling fly all day even without the sword. I’ll absolutely be adding these to my next favorite purchases of Amazon blog.I could use a new wallet though and would still be pretty excited about somebody buying me one.
You need to cut your cake? NO PROBLEM THERE’S A SWORD.
I won’t lie, we didn’t actually cut our Muddy Paws Cheesecake with the sword, we just posed for a few pictures and pretended we did. Muddy Paws cheesecake is entirely too delicious to risk messing up. If you’ve never had it, I highly suggest you go buy some right now. I have some more food suggestions here.
So get a sword.
Nobody was sad while holding their sword. How could you be? They were about $70 a pop, which by all means is not cheap. Part of the reason I’m writing this incredibly self-fulling blog is so I can get as much value out of these swords as possible. But I’m telling you now, for the quality of the swords and the excitement they brought, $70 per sword also is not that bad. I mean, what else would we have been doing in our photos? Just standing there without swords? How lame is that? My entire crew told me they were the best groomsman gifts ever but maybe they’re just lying to make me feel better. Unlikely, but maybe.
As long as I’m doing a post about my wedding, I may as well share some other stuff from it.
Moving beyond the best groomsman gifts, let me explain a simple truth: the National Treasure movies are the single greatest movies of all time. Don’t even bother trying to tell me how you think I’m wrong, I’m not. Their greatness had to be remembered at this wedding.
I actually did not tell my wife I was making this and kept it hidden until the grooms dinner right after the guys opened their swords.
Custom wedding cocktails are a blast.
We each did a drink named after us and one named after our dog. “OMG, I’ve had too many Kayla’s” was spoken often. I may need to revamp our best drinks for the summer list.
Tom Brady was there.
Well, sort of. I sent him multiple invites, tweeted him several times over the course of a year, sent him some Instagram messages. I don’t want to tell myself that he just ignored m, I’m sure he was just busy that day. So we put a picture of him in our “For those who couldn’t be here today” memorial. After all, he couldn’t be there that day.
He would have made for a great best man, and he would have absolutely loved his sword.
I’ve got myself a pretty badass wife.
I cannot emphasize this enough: we are not Lord of the Rings sword nerds. More power to you if you are but we’ve seen exactly zero seconds of those movies. We don’t frequent the Renfest, we don’t idolize Jon Snow. Honestly, there’s no solid reason for the swords outside of me thinking “OH, BIG, SHINY, COOL!” We have a ton of non-sword pictures but as you’ve seen, the swords were not an insignificant part of the day. They were also a big topic of conversation amongst our guests. My wife was completely down with all of it and even got in on the fun a little bit.
See? We do have cool, non-sword pictures as well.
But I’m not going to write a blog about those. Just follow me on Twitter if you want to see them.
I was in at least 3 people’s Myspace Top 8. I have as many NBA Championships as Tom Brady. I’m probably too old to be here. @NickLewis37