BREAKING: The Weather Officially Sucks Again

To everyone that had been complaining about the weather being too cold the past month or so…go to hell.

What was wrong with 40 and cloudy? Is it really that much worse than 80, sunny, humid and shitty? I’ve complained about the weather before, but I think it’s because I’m absolutely correct. The weather officially sucks again.

Here’s Why

The heat and all of hell that comes with it.

I can’t think of too many benefits for humans when the temperatures get above like 60 degrees.

Cooler temps make it nice to be outside for being active, drinking, just generally enjoying the outdoors. You know what you get once the temp heats up? Fucking bugs! Good luck enjoying a beverage outside when you’re covered in gnats and bees. I almost got stung by a hornet or wasp (the ones with the long dangly legs) today and that was just about it.

Before I could do that though I had to brave myself into a t-shirt. As a larger, good looking man, fall and winter temps are when I shine. The more layers the better. Jeans and hoodies all day every day. Now? If I wear a hoodie in this weather I’ll be sweating like a son of a bitch. And to add to the husky terror, nowadays the tighter and smaller the clothes the better you look. Not this guy.

I’ll continue to wear my baggy cargo shorts and heavy Hanes t shirts. No need to show off anymore than I already do. Lucky for me I was in Vegas last week and made the jump into t-shirts before this hell the reigned onto Minnesota this week so I didn’t need to just rip the band aid off that is t-shirts.

And since the weather officially sucks again…to cap it all off?

Fucking allergies.

Nothing goes better with a cold one on a brewery patio than a runny/stuffy nose. You either sound like shit or you’re constantly blowing your nose and trying to convince everyone that you don’t have the CoCoRoRo.

It really is crazy. One day you can go outside with zero issues whatsoever and then all of a sudden you see one weed pop up and all of a sudden your head feels like it’s gonna blow up like a fucking balloon.

It just sucks.

Not only are you sweating your ass of in shirts that don’t fit quite right, but you also have to fight for your life against the bugs and tree pollen.

And that’s what we have to look forward to. Say it with me, with as much sarcasm as you can muster, yaaaaaaaaaaay. The weather officially sucks again.