The Pinnacle of Pizza Prizewinners
As Bill Murray once famously said, “Unless you are a pizza, the answer is YES, I can live without you.” With the help of the almighty 7th Avenue Pizza, we are going to see a battle for the ages. 30 minutes, 1 winner. Bubba vs Power Trip Quotes. Now, I may be biased but I believe our boy Bubba is going to fuck Power Trip Quotes in the streets on his way to victory in this pizza challenge. PTQ is coming in feeling confident and we have to respect any man who tries to take on the legend of Bubba in any food competition. I mean, the dude is deleting pizza squares just for fun on his way to work. Gotta respect that.However, this man has not seen the likes of Bubba. The man, the myth, the legend. The Babe Ruth of eating challenges. The Great Hambino, some may say. Bubba and Eating Challenges are synonymous with one another. This is the same man that tossed @Bossman_10k and @JournalistJ_10k on his back and annihilated an 11 pound pizza just a few months ago. Let’s just hope PTQ doesn’t pull a Jose Canseco and complain of heartburn to get out of the challenge before it hardly begins. Even if he did though, could you blame him? Bubba is bringing home that pizza cutter to the 10K Studios.
Shit will be talked. Pizza will be devoured. Who will come out on top? There will be live streaming of the challenge from us at @10ktakesmn as we will be checking out Chaska’s new Golf Zone. Speaking of golf zone, did you see Bubba’s golf shot? If the man can still move after the pizza challenge, hopefully we can get him to take a few more swings at the range. Content purposes only.
Frozen Pizza Power RankingsLook, we are all adults (at least most of us). We have all done some really fat shit in our day. For instance, in college, my roommates and I had a Pizzazz Pizza Oven. By the way, it’s the best $50 you’ll ever spend on a kitchen item. It’s the Michael Jordan of kitchen appliances. Either way, my roommates and myself made everything on that motherfucker. Wings, chicken tenders, mozzarella sticks, pizza… you name it, we made it. One drunken night after bar-close, I made a frozen Jack’s pizza and set it off to the side. I then made another frozen Jack’s pizza. Two frozen pizzas, one man. I stacked the pizzas together like it was some type of sandwich and my fat ass went to town. What goes better than drunk nights and frozen pizza? The correct answer is nothing.
The main point of the story is that we will go to great length to eat pizza in any way possible. Considering the sauce, the cheese, the toppings, the value, where do we stand on the frozen pizza power rankings?
I wouldn’t typically put a $10 frozen pizza on here BUT the taste, variety, and accessibility of Heggies is what gets the top nod. Admittedly, I had never had one until I graduated from college because a poor college kid isn’t buying $10 frozen za’s. You can get Heggies at damn near any dive bar around the twin cities, which is perfect when you’re just looking to munch on some pizza while drinking your favorite beer. Plus, it’s in almost every grocery story so you can’t miss it. 12 different pizza combinations, all slap. If you haven’t dabbled in Heggies, spend the extra few bucks to give it a try.
2. 7th Avenue Pizza
Haven’t heard of them yet? Well, then you’ve been living under a damn rock. Not only are the sponsoring the Bubba vs Power Trip Quotes Pizza Challenge, but they are also the Official Frozen Pizza of the KFAN Power Trip Morning Show. They are new on the scene, which is probably good because I would’ve eaten 10,000 of these in college. My favorite is the Lucky 7, which is a meat-lovers dream. Pepperoni, sausage, Canadian bacon, hamburger, Mozzarella, cheddar, and provolone. Sign me the fuck up. If you haven’t tried it yet, stop into the local Speedway or Holiday has station and stock up because they have great deals. I’ll be damned if you find a better value on a frozen pizza.
3. Lotzza MotzzaThis pizza is pretty fucking good. This is also probably the only frozen pizza on the list that was shown by Barstool’s Dave Portnoy in his famous pizza reviews. The name says it, each pizza has a cum load of mozzarella on it. The sauce is very tasty. If you cook it just right, it’s a good frozen pizza. However, being that there is 10 pounds of cheese on every pizza, when you bake it, that cheese turns into lava. I’ll pay someone $20 if they’ve never burnt the roof of their mouth on a slice of Lottza Mottza pizza. Outside of burning your taste buds off, I’d highly recommend it. My personal favorite is the Chicken Bacon Ranch.
4. Red Baron
You may be thinking, “Red Baron?! What the fuck?” I get it. On the box, the pizza looks like something you were served in elementary school from a woman named Agnes. In this case, don’t judge a pizza by it’s cover. Their brick oven style pizza, when cooked correctly, actually tastes like something delivered. I also saw they have a new stuffed-crust pizza, which I am always down to try. For like $4, this pizza cannot be overlooked and deserves a spot on our rankings. Red Baron’s twitter game is pretty funny as well, so that gives them a nod over some of the other peasant frozen pizza brands. (See below)
The hate has gone way too far on Tombstone. If it wasn’t shitty Jack’s pizza in college, Tombstone was the victim at bar-close for many college students around the United States. Also, let’s not forget that this may be the coolest name of all frozen pizza brands. Who else can say they are named after the best Western movie of all time and also the Undertaker’s finishing WWE move? That’s what I thought. I’m not caving to any of you mainstream DiGioro or California Pizza Kitchen fans. The flavor is solid and they load up the toppings compared to other brands. All you need is a little oregano and crushed red pepper and you could crush an entire pizza in no time, bar-close or not.
The Main Event!
Don’t forget to follow us at @10ktakesmn for all of the updates leading up to Bubba’s big victory over Power Trip Quotes. It’s going to be an absolute must-see Main Event. 30 Minutes. 1 winner.
Who do you think will take home the Prized 7th Avenue Pizza Challenge pizza cutter?