By Far the Best Nicknames in Sports History

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A nickname can be short-lived or last a lifetime. The best ones…they live on forever. As someone who only answers to their nickname, I feel I’m the perfect candidate to write this blog. These are in no particular order but they’re definitively the best nicknames throughout sports history.

“Big Dick” Nick Foles

I lied, “Big Dick” Nick is the best nickname in sports history. This Anchorman scene perfectly portrays how I feel about him. We don’t need to get into it. IYKYK

Chuck “The Iceman” Liddell

The “Iceman” was the main reason I started watching the UFC. He’s also the reason why every middle-aged male UFC fan had a Mohawk paired this Affliction shirt/True Religion jeans combo.

“Pistol” Pete Maravich

With a nickname like “pistol” you know this guy had IT. Judging by his highlights he must have had eyes in the back of his head.

Lenny “Nails” Dykstra

Although I only know Lenny from the prank call days of Pardon My Take, with a nickname like “Nails” he must have been good.

Tommy “The Hitman” Hearns

MUST WATCH

Tommy “The Hitman” Hearns is my favorite boxer of all-time. He gave us lanky guys hope and his right hand was DEADLY. PLEASE watch the video of that 1st round. It’s the greatest round of boxing you’ll ever see.

Stu “The Grim Reaper” Grimson

Is that a pubic hair on the lens of this camera?

JESUS… is who I’d be praying to if I was unfortunate enough to drop the gloves with the “Grim Reaper”. That’s one of those nicknames that you hear and are just immediately intimidated. Yeah, no thanks.

Randy “The Big Unit” Johnson

Can you believe “The Big Unit” is an NFL photographer now?

Marshawn Lynch “Beast Mode”

Only a guy with the nickname “Beast Mode” can crush skittles on the sideline and be one of the best running backs of his time.

Deion “Prime Time” Sanders

“Prime Time” was and is the real deal. No way I’m not playing for him at Jackson State if I played football.

Wayne Gretzky “The Great One”

There’s nothing to say. Wayne is “The Great One”

David “Big Papi” Ortiz

Wow did he ever look good in a Twins J. FUCK!

“Marvelous” Marvin Hagler

Seriously, watch this round.

“Wu Wu Wu” Kenny Wu

There’s only one man on the planet that can pull off figure skating moves successfully in a hockey game. That man is Kenny Wu, the Olympic skating sensation.

Frank “Big Hurt” Thomas

I believe this is one of those nicknames that has a duel meaning. Frank put the “Big Hurt” on baseballs and any woman he has sexual relations with.

“Mr. Hockey” Gordie Howe

Mr. Hockey played 32 professional seasons, 26 in the NHL & 6 in the WHA. INSANE. One of the most deserving nicknames on this blog.

“Big Ticket” Kevin Garnett

WHY IS HIS JERSEY NOT IN THE RAFTERS AT THE TARGET CENTER. FUCK YOU GLEN TAYLOR.

What I’d say to Glen’s bitchass face

“Laser”

They didn’t call him laser for no reason. Threw straight peas on the dodgeball court.

“Blazer”

He was just as intimidating as he looks. You’d be going straight to the dentist if you took one of Blazer’s balls to the face.

Phil “The Drill” Williams

Minnesota boxing legend Phil “The Drill” Williams has one of the best nicknames you’ve probably never heard of. He also knocked people the fuck out. I was lucky enough to see a few of his fights and even got to do some training/volunteering through his gym Northside Boxing Club in North Minneapolis. Phil and his partner Moe, are top notch dudes that help the local youth. I HIGHLY recommend going out of your way (for once in your life) to volunteer somewhere. You have no idea how much of an impact you can make by taking time to help others who are not as fortunate. It kicks ass just like him.

“White Chocolate” Jason Williams

First off, the white chocolate you consume RULES and so did Jason Williams. Guy had straight swag and might have been a better passer than Pistol.

Eldrick “Tiger” Woods

Earl Woods was a grade “A” piece of shit for naming his son Eldrick. I feel like he knew that and decided to give him one of the COOLEST nicknames known to man, “Tiger”.

“The Mailman” Karl Malone

Just a hardhat/lunch pail type of nickname. With a name like Karl, it just seems right. Great on the court, not so much off.

Dick “Night Train” Lane

“Night Train” is the reason why you can’t facemask or close-line in the NFL. Do yourself a favor and look up his highlights. Not only did he FUCK people up, he still holds the record for most interceptions in a season (14). Oh almost forgot, in only 12 games as a a rookie.

“The Dominator” Dominik Hasek

I constantly think about this play. Shit was INSANE! Takes “big dick” Nick sized balls. Can’t believe the Blackhawks just let him go. Almost as bad as the Twins letting David Ortiz walk.

Allen “The Answer” Iverson

Basketball was so much cooler back when “The Answer” played. Dude just straight BALLED out and it’s hard to believe that I’m taller than him. Imagine if he was like 6’6″? He’d be the GOAT.

William “The Refrigerator” Perry

The Fridge was well before my time but the name made sense. He was 6’3″ 350lbs (feel like that’s light) and would get the ball at the 1 yard line. NO ONE was stopping him.

Rod Smart “He Hate Me”

“He Hate Me” put the XFL on the map. I can’t remember any other player besides him and didn’t even know his name until I wrote this blog.

Ray “Boom Boom” Mancini

I usually take boom booms but I sure as hell wouldn’t ever want to take Ray’s boom boom (jab + cross combo) to the beak.

Roberto “Hands of Stone” Duran

You think a boxer with the nickname “hands of stone” hits hard? Most likely, that’s why he’s one of the greatest.

Jared “The Hefty Lefty” Lorenzen

(R.I.P) The hefty lefty had every fatass on the planet thinking they could play QB in the NFL.

Shaun “The Flying Tomato” White

Could you imagine spending your entire life training to get to the Olympics for snowboarding knowing you had 0 chance at winning gold? Him and Phelps are the best Olympic athletes of all time.

Larry “Chipper” Jones

WHAT!?!?!?! Chipper Jones’ real name is… LARRY!?!?!?! I’m just as stunned as you are.

Matt “Skyscrapper” Sargent

He’s best known for getting his nose broken at Grandmas Sports Garden (RIP) and having stork legs. However, he did have a great nickname.