Conclusively Determining Tom Cruise’s Best Movie Role

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Sarge

Tom Cruise has had a long and successful career in Hollywood and he’s known for his versatility as an actor. It’s subjective to determine his best movie role, as opinions may vary depending on personal preferences. Perfect example, Tom’s a Scientologist, and I am not.

Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One will release next week (July 12th), and seeing that commercial got me thinking. What’s Tom Cruise’s best movie role? Forget about what I said earlier about varying opinions. It’s actually quite obvious what his best role is but I can mention a few of his most iconic characters out of pure respect for Tom.

Not Jerry Maguire

Who can forget the iconic line “Show me the money!”? In this movie, Cruise plays a sports agent who, after a moral epiphany, sets out to prove that there’s more to the game than contracts and endorsements. There’s not. Excellent work Tom, but not your best.

However, this role might be the best that Tom’s ever looked in his life. Like how can you take that close of a picture and still be that good-looking? Incredible.

Not Ethan Hunt

Let’s face it: Tom Cruise’s Ethan Hunt is the epitome of indestructibility. He hangs from cliffs, jumps off buildings, and dangles from helicopters without breaking a sweat. The Mission: Impossible series is basically a documentary about Cruise’s ongoing mission to prove that he’s the most fearless actor in Hollywood. Crazy to think he does all of his own stunts. It’s also crazy to think Ethan Hunt is his best role.

Not Vincent

In the thriller Collateral, Tom plays a contract killer named Vincent who’s a total psychopath. Contrary to his usual heroic characters, Cruise embraced the role of a villain with remarkable intensity. His portrayal of a cold-blooded hitman was sensational BUT it’s not even close to his best role. I basically just put this role in here as a reminder to watch this movie again. So underrated.

Not Pete “Maverick” Mitchell

Have you ever thought about how many dudes weren’t going to be pilots but then saw Top Gun and are now pilots? Every single one. As the daring and cocky as fuck fighter pilot Maverick, Cruise has single-handedly recruited more pilots to the Air Force the Navy than all recruiters combined. And there is quantifiable data to prove it. He damn near deserves the Medal of Honor. For that Tom, we thank you. Nevertheless, Maverick isn’t his best role.

Not Ron Kovic

In Born on the Fourth of July, the biographical war drama, Tommy plays Ron Kovic, a paralyzed Vietnam War Veteran. His portrayal of Kovic’s physical and emotional struggles earned him an Academy Award nomination for Best Actor. Is that good? It is, but you really want to know what’s Tom Cruise’s best movie role?

You probably

It’s Les Grossman

The best role (by far) Tom Cruise has ever played is Les Grossman. Who’s Les Grossman? A man with little man’s syndrome, unreal dance moves, and one-liners you can quote for decades.  “Fuckstick” is such a great insult. So simple yet hits you right to the core. Les Grossman will go down as the best movie character to ever exist.

10K% worth your time

What might be the best part about this role is that Tom came up with the character himself. In this Esquire article, Ben Stiller goes into how Tom actually approached him about Les Grossman.

“Tom Cruise had the idea to play Les Grossman in the movie,” Stiller says. “That part did not exist. He said, ‘Well, there’s no studio executive and that would be really fun to be that guy.’ And he had this whole idea of what the guy should look like. It was his idea to dance. And I remember when we did a makeup test, someone handed him a Diet Coke and then he just started moving.”

Tommy boy can cut some fucking rugs.

If you don’t agree with me that Les Grossman is Tom Cruise’s best movie role, then how bout you take a step back, and LITERALLY FUCK YOUR OWN FACE!