Connor Bedard: The Future of Filth & Flow in the NHL


connor bedard

In case you didn’t know, in a couple of years there will be a new Connor entering the NHL. Actually… scratch that. He won’t just be entering the league, he will be terrorizing it like mosquitoes surrounding a buzzed Minnesota bonfire. His name you ask? Connor Bedard.

Let’s start things off here with a couple of clips to get you feeling all weird and tingly inside.

Ope… sorry! Let me just sneak past ya real quick.
Umm… Patty Kane anyone?


If those goals weren’t enough to sell you on Connor Bedard then I have some more insight on the 15-year-old phenom for you. To put it simply, in the hockey world, you are either exceptionally good looking or you are fucking ugly. There is really no in-between. Bedard falls into the exceptionally good looking category.

Let’s break this picture down for example…


Now, I know it’s grainy but bare with me here.

First… THE HAIR. I see volume, highlights, and a perfectly feathered head of organic butter lettuce there.

Second… THE EYEBROWS. Far too often we are seeing star hockey players not giving a shit about their eyebrows. So thank you Connor for being a pioneer.

Third… THE VOLUPTUOUS LIPS. Any female (or male, let’s be honest), regardless of age, would certainly be chomping at the bit to get a single smack of those bad boys.

Fourth and finally, THE KIND EYES. One look into those beauties and you are destined for a trip into the great beyond. These are the eyes that simply say “Hey. I know it’s been rough out there, but you’re safe now.”


To further this point, let’s take a look at the last five first-overall picks in the NHL.

2020: Alexis Lafrenière, UGLY AS SHIT

2019: Jack Hughes, KINDA OKAY

2018: Rasmus Dahlin, UGLY AS SHIT

2017: Nico Hischier, ALMOST UGLY

2016: Auston Matthews, UGLY AS SHIT (editor’s note: strongly disagree, Auston is hot as fuck)

For a league that’s looking to attract a younger audience, that’s certainly a tough look from a marketing standpoint. Luckily for the NHL, Bedard will bursting onto the scene in 2023 with both his charming looks and godly hockey skills.


When you blend the two worlds of exceptionally good hockey player and exceptionally good looking, you get a pioneer. And in this case, you get Connor Bedard.