Dear Aaron Rodgers,Hey bud. My friend. A-dawg, can I call you A-dawg? Regardless, Aaron, I hope this letter finds you doing well and enjoying your offseason. You seem to be having the time of your life, with the love of you life. Nice tropical vacation, just the forest and your freedom. I know you probably get a lot of these. But trust me, I’m not who you think. No, I don’t live in bum fuck Wisconsin. I’m actually not a Packer fan at all. I’m a fan of the rival team. The team you seem to just be so good against all the fucking time. I love the purple more than I love members of my family. It runs deep in me. So deep, I cried at every loss that was worthy of it. Certain ones hurt more than others. But you probably don’t care too much. It’s all fun and games to you. I have just one question for you….
Why do you want to leave Green Bay?
We all know it’s not about the money. Are you actually considering retirement? Or fucking Jeopardy? The latter might suit you better. It looked like you had so much fun on tv, a much calmer lifestyle than the NFL. I mean think about it Aaron, who would you rather have hate you? A nerd from some Ivy league college who will be rich anyway; or an entire set of 300-plus pound lineman every week? That choice sounds like an easy one to me, but I’m also known to be a chicken shit (and chicken sandwich taste tester) from time to time.But Aaron, sweet dear Aaron Rodgers, I’m not writing for you to quit. Or to join or team. I want you to LEAVE the NFC. Think about it, it would be a good idea in the long run. You and Tom Brady cannot co-exist in the same conference together man. He threw a wrench in everything. He came into your house and gave his team what you’ve been chasing. Now it’s time to split ways and head west, perhaps? I heard Denver would be lucky to have you. The Rockies are beautiful. Maybe a certain black and silver suits your fancy in a busier part of the States. But who knows, the choice may or may not be yours.
Whatever you do Aaron, you should stand firm in your ways. Tell whoever it is that you’re mad at how you really feel. Maybe you’ve had that conversation already. I just hope things work out in a better light for both you and I. Remember, its about the people Aaron.Sincerely,
A smart Vikings fan
Professional Driver. Lover of all things sports. I once cut meat for Paul Allen and Mark Rosen. I talk on a podcast about men hugging each other aggressively.