Did Pop-Tarts Just Unveil The Most WTF Mascot Ever???


It’s an unfortunate reality that we’re on the back end of another football season. Still have a chunk of the NFL season, but for most of the mediocre NCAA teams, their seasons are pretty much over. Now, I said PRETTY much over. The Gophers are a fantastic example. The fightin’ Flecks had an awful year and are gonna sneak into a bowl game no one cares about. We just have to wait for a month for the opportunity to watch our shitty teams play other shitty teams in cities we have no desire to visit. So how can they make these worthless games more interesting to watch? This year, apparently, the hot new idea is an Edible Mascot. WTF Pop-Tarts.

Pop-Tarts Huh?

First off, what an odd sponsor for a bowl game. Don’t get me wrong, I fucking love Pop-Tarts. The frosted strawberry? S’mores? Get in my belly. But me watching a football game isn’t gonna make me wanna to buy a shit load of Pop-Tarts. I don’t know, I’m not a marketing guy but weird to me. Now on to the mascot…

So this is weird, right? Like is it a costume that some guy is wearing? Imagine a big guy like myself sweating in that thing in the Florida heat? Yikes. I’ve never popped a Pop-Tart in a microwave before, but I can only imagine that’s what it tastes like.

Or is it like an actual giant Pop-Tart? If that’s the case. Are we gonna have to watch camera shots of a giant Pop-Tart with eyes just chilling on the sidelines the whole game? That would be lame.

Whatever this ends up being, it’s working on me. I am going to tune in to see what it is. I have to, it’s undeniable. The only thing that could make it better (or less creepy) is being able to bet on which flavor it is. All in on frosted strawberry. Those rule.