Did the Calgary Flames Show up to Work Shitfaced? Yes. Yes They Did.

We have all shown up to work drunk or hungover at some point, right?!

Imagine this… it’s Sunday and you wake up on a crisp spring morning. Birds are chirping and the sun is out after a cold winter. You check your Vig It app to see what you can bet on that day and you find a whole fucking slate of NHL, college basketball, and golf on. Might as well be heaven! So, what is the first thing you do? Make a stiff screwdriver, of course. Not just one screwdriver though. I’m talking Matthew McConaughey in The Wolf of Wall Street ordering drinks at lunch type drunk.

Next, it’s 1:30pm and you just lost 500 coins using Vig It to bet on the Devils/Capitals Over 5.5 goals. You’re tired of the orange juice so you crack a beer… one beer turns into eight. It’s late afternoon and you look at your TV only to see Tony Finau blowing another win opportunity down the stretch of the Honda Classic. Before you know it, it’s 8pm and you’re sweating out a shitty Seton Hall vs. Providence game because you’re a degenerate. Then you realize you’re 12-15 drinks deep, it’s late at night and you are shaking from the Sunday Scaries, praying that Monday is a holiday.

“Hold my Beer” – Calgary Flames, shitfaced

Just when you thought getting drunk on Sunday was for normal people like us, the Calgary Flames said “Hold my Beer.” The NHL team from Calgary is more like us than we thought. After a good ole’ fashion Sunday Funday, the Flames (like all of us) had to get up for work on Monday. Look, you’re full of shit if you say you’ve never shown up to work drunk and/or hungover after a Sunday of partying. The Flames suck, so what do you do when you hate your job? You mask the agony in alcohol, and the Flames did just that. Check it out:

Flames got in one last night pic.twitter.com/nnfmmMf2R8

— Spittin' Chiclets (@spittinchiclets) March 2, 2021

I’ve seen monkey shit-fights at the zoo more organized than this warm-up. The Calgary Flames are SHITFACED here! These guys are supposed to be getting ready for their game. Instead they’re tripping over each other like it’s bar close. You have a third line defenseman plowing over the backup goalie. Milan Lucic looks like he just took a pull of Rumple Minze. To top it all off, their best player, Johnny Gaudreau shot a backhanded puck into the face of their 2nd best player, Sean Monahan.

You must be curious to know how they did against the *checks notes* league-worst Ottawa Senators.

Ouch. That box score might hurt worse than the hangovers.