After a Round of 16 full of blowouts and upsets, we’re officially down to the eight greatest Minnesota sports jerseys of all time. The second round is where things get interesting. It’s nut-crunching time. Let’s crunch some nuts.
#1 North Stars Green v. #8 Vikings 1960s Throwbacks
In the least surprising result of Round 1, these North Stars unis absolutely shit-pumped the Gopher Double ‘M’ jersey. Just a true skullfucking like you read about. Now, I’m not one to kick a horse when it’s down, but I’m about to kick this horse when it’s down.
This is exactly what the Gophers get for this cute little chirp. Complaining about a 16 seed? You should be counting your lucky stars you made the bracket in the first place. How about we win the Big Ten West one time and then we’ll talk, okay?
On the other hand, these Vikings throwback unis beat the Wolves Prince jerseys handedly. I personally thought the Prince jerseys could fuck around and win this whole thing, but I’m also a horrible gambler so that checks out.
#4 Wolves ’95 Blue v. #12 Twins ‘Twin Cities’
I love this matchup so much. The Wolves squeaked out the win versus last year’s Winter Classic jerseys, and the Twins pulled off the classic 12/5 upset over the Vikings 90’s whites. I honestly have no idea who’s going to win this one. I think I’d have to give the edge to the Wolves here on pure nostalgia alone.
#2 Wolves ’00 Black v. #10 Twins ’90s White
After two huge first round blowouts, we got another Wolves/Twins matchup on our hands. This one is a no-brainer, right? Wolves by a million. It just has to be. These jerseys are too good to not make the final four. I’d bet my bank account on it, but then again it’s never a good sign when I’m this confident in a pick, so we’ll see what happens.
#3 Twins Baby Blue v. #11 Vikings Color Rush
The ’09 Vikings jerseys didn’t stand a fucking chance against the baby blues, and I don’t think the Color Rush unis do either. The sheer amount of purple on these jerseys do still make me slightly aroused, but it’s almost impossible to beat a good baby blue color scheme. Just a truly unstoppable force. RIP Dalvin.
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below average at a few things. bad at a lot of things. Minnesota sports sad boi.