Evaluating Prospective Vikings QBs Without Doing Any Research on Them

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You know what’s a lot of fun? Discussing who you want your NFL team to draft this year! You know what’s not fun? Doing research to form an educated opinion on the subject. Sorry boss, I already did my time in school, and I’m not interested in adult homework. You shouldn’t be required to have a statistics degree from Harvard to talk ball. Complete degenerates should be allowed to discuss too, even if they went to Mankato. In that spirit, I’m going to try evaluating prospective Vikings QBs without doing any research on them. These opinions will be based on the things that really matter: their box stats, the highlights I casually saw this season, and the first page on Google images.

(DISCLAIMER: I’m also doing evaluating of prospective Vikings QBs without regard to their availability at pick #11. Assume it’s us trading up if they’re supposed to go before that, in Kwesi we trust).

Caleb Williams

The guy who’s been the consensus #1 pick for a couple of years now, it’d be quite the move to pull him from an LA penthouse to Eagan. Most of the knocks I’ve seen on him are your typical hardo Facebook-dad stuff, from painting his fingernails to crying after a loss. Forgive me if I’m not worried about a college kid being a little bit weird and emotional, who could imagine. He did look a lot more human towards the end of the season, as USC lost 4 of its last 5. Still, the guy can clearly ball, and every team in the NFL would feel smart taking him this year.

Drake Maye

The UNC kid who seems like your favorite smart guy’s favorite QB. He didn’t have the same buzz as Caleb coming into the year, but he played his way into the discussion to go #1.

I gotta be honest, his headshot is kind of off-putting to me.

Maybe it’s the UNC polo, but he looks like a guy that would crash your car and blame you for giving him the keys. Also, I can’t see a UNC QB without having Mitch Trubisky flashbacks. He’ll probably go on to be the face of a franchise, but I don’t know that I can uneducatedly get on this bandwagon.

Jayden Daniels

Speaking of an uneducated bandwagon, lets get to the Heisman Trophy winner baby! When NCAA 24 finally releases, everyone’s going to be playing like Jayden in MyCareer. I’m 100% a fan of stat-padding, and this guy did it as well as anyone. We’re talking about almost 5,000 all purpose yards in the SEC. When his team underpreformed and were out of the playoff race, he started putting on a showcase. Who doesn’t want that for a franchise that’s been in nothing but nail biters for the last 3 years? Sign me up.

Also, LSU is probably the coolest program in the country, and I’m for any piece of it we can get. A mobile QB to go with our receivers would be a blast.

Michael Penix Jr.

Depending on which playoff game you watched, this is either the best or worst option for the Vikings. A West Coast guy who’s not scared to air the ball out (4,900+ passing yards this year). He also lead the Huskies to a 14-0 record through a pretty grueling PAC12 year (RIP).

You can’t ignore how rough he looked in the title game, and the pressure he’ll feel in the NFL isn’t going to be any slower. Still, he was cool as a cucumber all year, and I think anyone who picks him up is going to be happy to at least talk themselves into it if they can’t look past his worst game of the season.

JJ McCarthy

If the phrase “game manager” had a face, it’s this one. Guy had the best team all year, and he managed to not screw it up the whole way. Which, to be fair, is worth something. In a similar sense, a roster like Minnesota’s could be a great fit for a guy like JJ, who’s able to make the correct decisions and elevate the stars around him. Just look at what the 49ers have going with Purdy, could this be the winning formula?

Still, when looking for your QB of the future, they need to be able to transcend the situation they’re drafted into. Are we confident this is the guy who’s going to carry us into years of success, even after the JJs and Hocks have come and gone? Also, he gives unfortunate Russel Wilson vibes when he meditates under the goalposts.

Bo Nix

It feels like Nix gets a pass for a lot of what JJ McCarthy gets dinged for, albeit with a lot more passing. Oregon was an absolute wrecking ball for a lot of the season, frankly embarrassing just about every team they played with the exception of Washington.

He’s the oldest QB in college football, which many take as not being as good as his peers. The way I see it, it’s that or he’s going to step into a franchise much more mature than your average rookie and be expected to deliver right away. I’m just not sure that’s the fit for someone that’s going to learn under Kirk for a year or two.

Conclusion

I don’t know, man. The draft is impossible and I’m dumb. The #1 pick last year looked horrible, while Mr. Irrelevant the year before has the bye in the NFC. If you’re going to make me pick, give me Jayden Daniels. If you’re going to make me be honest in how I’m evaluating prospective Vikings QBs… I’ll talk myself into any/all of them once they’re in purple.