Every NFL Offseason Move That Vikings Fans Should Care About

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The NFL Offseason is a crazy thing. Free Agency comes at a time where the sports calendar is quite hectic. March Madness is in full effect, and the NHL and NBA are coming down the stretch. So why the fuck are we talking about football right now? Because HOLY SHIT moves are being made.

Every day has a story bigger than yesterday, and every day I woke up nauseous at the fact that Danielle Hunter could be traded at any moment. The thing is, not everyone cares about the entire NFL like I (and some elite others) do. Most of the locals only care who’s on the schedule, and that’s fair enough. Here is a rundown of the stars that have moved in and out of the Vikings sight.

Aaron Rodgers is….staying.

NFL Offseason move: Aaron Rodgers extends with the Packers
Now here’s a guy, Al, that we all fucking hate.

The biggest story coming into this offseason was if Aaron Rodgers was going to finally leave Green Bay. The sad demise of their playoff hopes after one game was enough to think A-Rog was gone, including yours truly.

But in the end, he fucking duped us all. Part of me wants to scream, but we all should have known better. The best chance for him to win another Super Bowl, sadly, is with the Packers. No one else was good enough to offer the window he “currently” has.

Seeing Rodgers in black and yellow would have been a nice change, but this ain’t your Madden franchise. A large deal was enough to get him to come back, but things aren’t going to be the same…

Davante Adams Traded To Vegas

this is better that sex.

You know what they say; mo’ money, mo’ problems. Or in Davante Adams’ case, it was less money. The Packers hit Adams with the franchise tag and Davante said sike. He was prepared to hold out and the Packers went back to the drawing board. And then out of nowhere, he was traded. It sounds like there was a lot of weird stuff behind the scenes, but us Vikings fans DGAF and are very thankful. He shredded our nonexistent corners for about 115 YPG, and 8 touchdowns in the past two seasons. I bet you Cam Dantzler was very pleased to hear that news. I would mention someone else, but at this point in time he’s the best we’ve got.

Tyreek Hill Is Now An Animal

NFL Offseason move: Tyreek Hill traded to Dolphins

The headlining sentence can be applied quite literally. Hell, his nickname is The Cheetah. But now he’s a part of the Miami Dolphins led by the coolest head coach in the world, Mike McDaniel. And it’s shocking. The trade escalated within 2 hours of the initial news breaking that a trade was in the works. A mainstay in the Chiefs offense is now swimming with different sharks. All I know is, money talks. And in the NFL Offseason, there’s a lot of talking.

Za’Darius Smith Curves The Ravens’ Reunion

NFL Offseason Move: Vikings sign Za'Darius Smith

As well all know, Za’Darius Smith is now meeting at the quarterback in Minny. But how did we get here? Well, it all started when Za’Darius had a deal set with the team that drafted him in Baltimore. But after a day or two, things went sour and he backed out. Lucky for us, we got ourselves a bonafide pass rusher to pair with Danielle Hunter. Back issues and age aside if he can be reliable, this team can be back in playoff contention.

Every season, faces that come and go. Some that you see less often than others. It’s part of the game: the NFL megastars are larger than life. And who knows, in September this list could grow a lot. The NFL Offseason never sleeps, and with the draft coming up teams could change a lot in a short amount of time. I’m just glad it might be easier to stop Aaron Rodgers now.