I’ve been toiling over a concept for a weekly blog since I joined the squad. I could’ve written about the Wild, the ineptitude of the other 3 teams in this town, or even the local college teams. Alas, I’ve settled on getting my anger out in written form. Introducing the 5 things I hate this week.
1. Gas Station Questions
On the surface, this may seem out of place, and you’re right. But combine filling your car up with 0 degree or colder temperatures and I’ve got an issue. It already sucks to fill up, but filling up and being grilled by an automated pump really grinds my gears. Do I want 2 sandwiches for $3.33? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Do I want a car wash even though it’s -15 degrees outside? NO! All I want to do is to fill my tank until it’s too cold to stand outside and then leave, no questions, no sandwiches, no car washes just gas.
2. Lawn Maintenance
I don’t know who came up with the stereotype that all men love taking care of their lawns, but that person is an idiot. There is nothing I hate more than having to wake up early on a Saturday morning and mowing my lawn before the summer heat gets to be too much. If it wasn’t for the city leaving notices on my front door I would absolutely just let it grow all year long. Side note: My neighbor is one of those guys who goes out and uses kitchen scissors to tighten up his lines along the sidewalk. Then again, I am almost positive that he has a drug problem but that’s for another blog. If you are a psycho who enjoys lawn maintenance, here’s a video that you may like.
3. Incorrect Food Orders
Just write it down bud. It doesn’t take long to properly write down my order and all of the changes I want to make. If I ask for no onions please just make my burger with no onions. If some of you reading this say “Deno you are being unreasonable with your order”, let me just say no I’m not. I know I am a picky eater and for that reason I always tip extra. I know it’s difficult for food service workers right now but make my food right and you will be rewarded.
4. Cars Entering Freeway
This is up there for one of the things I hate the most. If you are entering the freeway, highway, or any other fast-moving road, please attempt to match the speed that cars are already going. I understand that there are instances in which the ramp isn’t long enough but usually they are. As soon as you enter the ramp, pin it and match the speed of the cars. Also, don’t brake when entering the freeway, it is the responsibility of the cars already on the road to let you in. This process moves a lot better if all cars are moving at the same rate of speed.
5. Offensive Play Calling
I just couldn’t have a blog without venting about the local teams. It seems as though we have the same offensive philosophies with both the University of Minnesota football team and the Vikings. Run, run, play-action pass to a route that is 3 yards short of the first down marker. The Qbs are the same as well. In order for them both to succeed, everything around them must be perfect. Perfect line play, unstoppable running backs, and all-pro/all-American caliber wide receivers. It comes as no shock that the 1 good year that Tanner Morgan had he was throwing 5-yard slants to 2 NFL players. (2020 5th Round Pick Tyler Johnson and 2021 1st Round Pick Rashod Bateman).
29yo, 2 kids, former place kicker for the worst high school football team in Minnesota history. 2/2 xp, 0/2 field goals, led the state in total punts.