Drivers ed classroom

Minnesota Wants Online Driver’s Ed? Absolutely Fucking Not!

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Driver’s Ed. We all remember that shit. The small, ugly room with colorful road signs posted all over. Some dirty old man or woman, going on and on from a handbook in the same monotone voice with a vaguely Eastern European accent.

Maybe you’re like I was, sprinting down the street at break time to Burger King for a double cheeseburger and a Cherry ICEE. But now, the state of Minnesota is trying to pass a law to allow young teens to do the classroom lessons all online, and I am not, I fucking repeat, NOT fucking here for it!

Who The Fuck Am I To Judge How They Handle Driver’s Ed?

Before you go in on me, let me give you my credentials. I am currently a licensed driving instructor, so if there’s anyone at 10K qualified for this topic it’s me. Before that, I was a delivery driver from age 18 and have thousands of rides completed as an Uber driver. Ricky Bobby ain’t got SHIT on my driving skills. I could have driven myself to the fucking Mall of America from my house in Brooklyn Park at age 10. 15 year olds nowadays? I promise you they don’t care about this. It would be a terrible idea. Before you “OK, Boomer” me to death, I’m 25.

Half of my students are struggling with school as is in the current online format. I feel really queasy thinking about the idea of them learning ALL this very important driving stuff on their own. At least in those boring classrooms, or should I say class-Zooms, you get caught if you don’t pay attention. Otherwise they bitch at you and you don’t get credit.

Now I totally get the convenience part of it, but Driver’s Ed is just too important of a thing to be learning completely on your own time. Even though they still have to pass a driving test, the next generation of drivers is going to be terrible. There are too many idiots in Minnesota who don’t know how to zipper merge as is. If the Minnesota lawmakers goes through with this, we’re gonna end with drivers so shitty, you’d think they’re from Mississippi. Or worse, Wisconsin.

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