gable steveson wins

Gable Steveson: American Hero

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The Olympics fucking rule. I’ve written before about how Suni Lee is my new favorite athlete, but she already has some sick competition. Don’t worry, Suni, you’re still #1 for me. Freshly crowned wrestling heavyweight champion Gable Steveson just gave us a perfect example of why the Olympics are so special. Down 3 points with 19 seconds to go, Steveson appeared to have finally met his match in Georgia’s (the Country, not the State) Geno Petriashvili. But there’s a reason they say it ain’t over til the fat lady sings.

Maybe it’s the Auburn fan in me, but goddamn do I love seeing Georgia blow a big lead late in a big moment. Gable Steveson wrestles collegiately for the Gophers, and I’m not really a Gopher fan but it’s still fucking sick to see a Minnesotan absolutely crush it.

One thing that I don’t think is getting enough credit is how Gable KNEW he was running out of time so as soon as he got in Takedown position, he flashed 2 fingers to the scorers table. “GIVE ME MY POINTS, DAMNIT”

Gable Stevenson flashing two
Pictured: A man who knows he’s a badass

Still, credit where credit is due to Petriashvili. Up until the Gold Medal match, no other wrestler had even scored a point on Gable Steveson. Seriously, that’s how dominant he was. Look at this shit.

Gable Stevenson dominance
Truly an unbelievable run.

You see in match #251 where he won 10-0 and there’s a VSU next to it? That stands for Victory by Superiority – he mercy ruled his opponent in the first period of the match. Aiaal Lazarev from Kyrgystan was so outmatched that after basically a minute and a half, the ref called it. Unreal stuff.

Who Is Gable Steveson, Anyway?

Named after one of the most famous wrestlers of all time, Dan Gable, Gable Steveson grew up in Apple Valley, MN. Apple Valley, for those who may not know, is one of the nation’s absolute powerhouses when it comes to wrestling. This dude was named after one of wrestlings greatest ever, grew up in a wrestling hotbed, and is still doing incredible things. Like how he won the Dan Hodge Trophy, basically the Heisman but for wrestling, at the U this year. This dude grew up watching Brock Lesnar play for the Vikings (even if it was a publicity stunt) and basically was like “Yeah, I want to be Brock Lesnar or Kurt Angle.” The stuff of legends, man. Especially when later on he gets to wrestle against his hero.

He’s already talked about being an entertainer, which is obvious by his signature backflip after he wins a match.

I don’t know if there’s another human on Earth who loves anything more than Gable Steveson loves backflipping after a win. The dude is a legend, and truly an American hero. Basically the opposite of our sworn enemy, Canadian songstress Celine Dion.

suck it, Celine