Girl Scouts to Unleash New Cookie in War on America

Everything Else Food

The Girls Scouts of America have waged war with America’s waistline and wallets for decades. The guerilla warfare of being ambushed by a co-worker’s daughter or niece has been a threat to the American workforce (and diet) for years. Now, a new cookie threat arises. Word on the street is they’re calling it The Adventurefuls Initiative. I know that a lot of you won’t get that, but those that do…I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

Captain Annika, Iron Ma’am, and The Incredible Holly

Terrible name aside, this cookie is not one to be taken lightly. They’re self-described as “brownie-inspired cookies with caramel flavored crème and a hint of sea salt”. Now, if that description doesn’t take you from six to midnight, you’re beyond help. There’s NOTHING better on the planet than the salty & sweet combination. A Dairy Queen Crunch Cone, Fries+Frosties, and Salt+Caramel are atop the list, but now you can get that in a girl scout cookie.

Adventurefuls, so hot right now

For what seems like eons, the “Big Three” of the Girl Scout world have remained unchallenged. Thin Mints, Samoas, and Tagalongs (in THAT goddamn order) have been superior to all other options. They’ve tried rolling out cute competition like Toast-Yay and S’mores, but they were bigger disappointments than Trent Richardson and Ryan Leaf. Now, Adventurefuls are here with more hype than Trevor Lawrence and just as many intangibles.

Pictured Together: Future Hall of Famers