Golf is Fucking Back, Baby

Golf Uncategorized

Why? I’m glad you asked.

As much as we all miss Tiger Woods, the PGA is in AMAZING hands. Like hands as great as Brandi Love. 2021 is the year of the cumbacks comebacks. Current golf ratings are higher than giraffe pussy. The world has come back firing after the COVID pandemic. Justin Thomas took home The Players Championship after losing his preppy boy Ralph Lauren sponsor because he said he putted the ball like a f-word, and that f-word was not fuck. Jordan Spieth is back to his old form of talking to Greller for 5 minutes between each shot, only to hear him yell “Jordan, what in the world was that?” except at least now, he’s actually winning. That’s not all… Rory McIlroy is overcoming two-stroke deficits on a Sunday at the Wells Fargo Championship to finally get the job done after almost two years without a win.

After Harris English’s vanilla ass took home the opening tournament of the calendar year at the Sentry Tournament of Champions, I thought we were in for another ass-fucking year of bad golf. The following week, Kevin Na won the Sony Open. If you thought I was pissed after Harris English won? You know nothing. Then, to top it all off, Si Woo Kim thought it would be cool to win the American Express. They say “bad things come in 3’s” and boy were they fucking right. So just as January is about to come to an end, there is one tournament left to save the reputation of golf as we know it. Guess who wins… golf’s biggest villain and cheater. Patrick Reed absolutely curb-stomped the rest of the field.

When will the pain and suffering end?

As January passed by and everyone is upset, we finally had something to look forward to. We had the most exciting and entertaining sporting event on the horizon in the first weekend of February. I’m not talking about the Super Bowl, either. We are talking about a place where the beer flows like wine, where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. A little place called the Waste(d) Management Open.

It was there, in Scottsdale AZ, where golf turned the corner and was officially BACK. Big Dick Brooks Koepka took home the trophy over the likes of Jordan Spieth and Xander Schauffele. That win was followed up by Ryder Cup hopeful, Daniel Berger at Pebble Beach. Twitter sensation and golf swing critic, Max Homa, won the Genesis in a playoff against Tony Finau. Then to end February, the young phenom, Collin Morikawa won the WGC-Workday. It still doesn’t end there!

March – May

The strong month of February was followed up by wins by Bryson DeChambeau and Justin Thomas in March. In April, we had Jordan Spieth re-enter the win column after 3 years of the yips. Hideki Matsuyama said fuck the haters and went on to become the 2021 Masters Champion and got himself a Green Jacket. Then now May is off to a hell of a start with the young buck, Sam Burns getting his first win. Then last week, Rory McIlroy fought off the demons like he was Bubba at the 10K Headquarters.

Next up, we have the AT&T Bryson Nelson tournament that’ll sport many of the top dogs. Dustin Johnson is going to be coming off of 3-day cocaine bender after having to do dad shit all day to give Paulina a break on Mother’s Day. Bryson DeChambeau will be doing his best DJ impression and snorting pre-workout to try and ace the famous 330-yard, par 4, 14th hole with a hybrid. Jordan Spieth has taken a month off since the Masters so he’s probably forgotten how to play again. Jon Rahm’s stinky ass will be sweating through his schmedium Travis Mathew clothing all weekend in the Texas weather. Plenty of others like Brooks Koepka, Will Zalatoris, and recent Masters Champion Hideki Matsuyama will also be in attendance hacking up the course.

PGA Championship

We have our second major tournament of the year in just two weeks when the PGA Championship takes place at The Ocean Course at Kiawah Island Golf Resort in South Carolina. A major championship that Tiger Woods has won 4 different times. Obviously he won’t be playing in the tournament to go for #5, but Rory and Brooks have both won this event twice in their careers. Can they make it 3? Spieth goes for the Grand Slam and tries to win all four majors at just 27 years old. Justin Thomas, Collin Morikawa, Jason Day, are some other notables who have won this event before. Who do you think will be taking home the Wanamaker Trophy? You already know that I’m ride or die with Jordan Spieth. (Vegas odds below)

Dustin Johnson+110011/1
Jon Rahm+120012/1
Justin Thomas+120012/1
Bryson Dechambeau+140014/1
Jordan Spieth+140014/1
Brooks Koepka+160016/1
Rory McIlroy+160016/1
Xander Schauffele+160016/1
Collin Morikawa+270027/1
Hideki Matsuyama+270027/1
Patrick Cantlay+270027/1
Daniel Berger+290029/1
Tyrrell Hatton+330033/1
Viktor Hovland+330033/1
Webb Simpson+330033/1
Will Zalatoris+330033/1
Tommy Fleetwood+370037/1
Jason Day+410041/1
Justin Rose+410041/1
Patrick Reed+410041/1
Paul Casey+410041/1
Scottie Scheffler+410041/1
Tony Finau+410041/1
Cameron Smith+420042/1
Harris English+420042/1
Adam Scott+500050/1
Joaquin Niemann+500050/1
Louis Oosthuizen+500050/1
Marc Leishman+500050/1
Matthew Fitzpatrick+500050/1
Matthew Wolff+500050/1

10K Golf

Even though we know you’d rather watch the professionals do it, don’t forget to check out @10K_Takes to watch us take on some of the Twin Cities’ best golf courses. It’s Shank Week anytime we are also on the course, but you just never know when that special shot is coming. Rumor is that we are even trying to get a golf tournament going with our followers/listeners so stay tuned for all the content and just watching us make asses of ourselves on the course.