I know you’re down real bad, but here’s the deal. In every fantasy championship, someone’s gotta win, and the other has to lose. There’s no way around it, and apparently, you built the more trash team. At least, that’s what the big “L” on your forehead says. You may not see it in the mirror, but I promise everyone can see it in your face and actions. Whether you’re talking to Rod at the office water cooler or your mother at a late Christmas dinner, they will sense the loser in you. And yes, they will be fully disappointed in you. Sorry about the tough love, but I figure you have two options when coming back from this pitiful performance.
Option #1: Put your best foot forward and try to win the next fantasy championship.
This option should definitely be tried first. The only thing people hate more than a loser is a sore loser. All the great champions of our generation took this approach. LeBron went down twice in the NBA Finals before picking up his first ring. Andy Reid lost his first Super Bowl in 2005 before finally reaching the podium in 2019. Even Tom Brady lost to Nick Foles and Eli Manning twice before setting the record for most Super Bowls won by any entity in NFL history. Putting your head down and getting to work often builds championship character. Spending more time in the lab, watching more film, and building more draft day material should help you win. At the least, it will help restore the respect you lost with your fantasy championship defeat. Or it will just make people think you’re an even bigger nerd.
Option #2: Burn it down to make sure nobody can win a future fantasy championship.
I don’t know what situation any of you are in, but I know some can be unfixable. This could be your 3rd or 4th championship loss, or it might’ve been at the hands of the biggest douche in the league. Hell, you might be the commissioner and already used the fantasy championship money on the kids’ Christmas gifts. Even if it’s as little as you don’t think you have another year in you, this path is always present.
So what you need to do is 3 things. First, deactivate the league abruptly. Erase it from the planet like it never existed. Second, when the members of the league begin to ask what’s going on. Remove yourself from the group chat and ignore all calls. Don’t forget to keep all the money to yourself. Then lastly, when people start showing up at your door, pulling you over in the streets, or at the worst…talking to your significant other…it’s time. You will unleash the deepest darkest secrets of all your closest friends. From the college days to the bachelor parties, you need to ruin their lives. Some may end in prison, others might lose their family, but I promise nobody will ever remember your fantasy championship loss.
I’m just the ugly stepson of the 10K family. Part Minnesotan, Part Wisconsinite. Half best friend, half mortal enemy. Can’t live with me, can’t live without me.