Welcome friends and readers! With all the shit we’ve been through with the coronavirus, it’s safe to say some of our eating habits have changed as well. Some people attempted to become Master chefs during quarantine. Others opted to sign up for DashPass and give back to Mom & Pop burger shacks that were struggling *raises hand*. If you owned any fast food stock before 2020 you’ve probably made a decent profit. With more eyes on these fast-food chains, they’ve decided to conduct a war unlike anything ever seen. The chicken sandwich is all the rage right now. Taco Bell is even trying to get in on the hype train. That’s pretty fucking weird, but I guess you gotta make money. Besides the chicken taco shit which isn’t available in Minnesota yet, I went out and tried all of the fast-food chicken sandwiches…here is my top 5.
Honorable Mention-KFCNot putting a bonafide chicken spot on the list might be a damn anomaly. But you have to hear me out on this one because I don’t want you to waste your time. The sandwich was OK once I did some cleaning up, but holy fuck did they cake on the mayo on this puppy. I would have to take a picture as a result, but one bite of 75% mayo and bun was enough for me to freak out and do emergency surgery with a napkin. Would I get it again? Considering they have the Famous Bowl which is orgasmic btw, it’s a hard pass from me.
Wendy’s is currently fucking up my heart, and my pockets. The fact that I live half a mile from one is a blessing and a curse. This chicken filet is very good, close to premium. My problem with it is the salad bar on top. The tomato was dead ass the size of the bun, the mayo was sloppy, and the lettuce was so big it made me angry. Wendy’s has this problem with putting half of a leaf of lettuce on a small burger and it pisses me off to no end. I went back 2 days later and got the Jalapeño Popper chicken sandwich and was much more satisfied.Rating: 2.5 out of 4 clucks 🐔 (the Popper version bring the rating up. The original is gross.)
An interesting place on the list! My roommate has told me that Freddy’s had a killer chicken sandwich but I didn’t truly believe him. After getting tired of my same rotation of places I finally buckled in and got one and holy fuck. It was REALLY good. I would have taken a picture with it, but I was starving at the time and, ya know. The filet was so crispy, it sounded like I was eating chips when I took a damn bite. My cons with this one would be the pickles, too long not a fan. I ate them on the side though don’t worry. And it was dry. I think the crispiness makes up for it in my book.Rating: 3.5 out of 5 clucks. Some sauce would have brought it to 4. 🐔
The newest kid on the block just became a major X-Factor in this conversation. And it’s weird that I’m saying that about the behemoth that is Mickey D’s. All they’ve had to offer since the Southern Style days in the mid-2000s was the
shitty beautiful McChicken. The new sammy came out a month ago and has quickly become a go-to fast food item of mine. The pickles hit hard, and the filet is crisper than the air on a fall Sunday. But in typical McDonald’s fashion, the bun seems to overshadow the chicken itself.
They have a deluxe and a spicy version, both were good but had flaws. The spicy was so hot my large Sprite was gone two-thirds of the way through it. Or maybe I’m just thirsty? The deluxe had fucking tomatoes on it of course, but sub those for American cheese and it was the fire.
Rating: 4 out of 5 clucks. 🐔
2. Chick-Fil-AYou had to know this was coming sooner or later. Despite the fact that Minnesota hasn’t even had CFA for 10 years yet, it’s quickly become a huge favorite for fast food in the Twin Cities. No seriously, every time I drive by the Maple Grove spot the line is 12+ cars deep. But it’s for good reason, their sandwich is killer. Nice soft bun and a perfect filet almost every time. And if you happen to go when there are not many people there, ask for it extra crispy. The extra 3 minutes in the fryer are totally worth it. My 2 issues, and I’m being a bitch and nitpicking here. The pickles could have so much more flavor, and sometimes the bun gets mysteriously sweaty. Can’t wait to have one of those this summer with a Peach milkshake.
Rating: 4.5 out of 5 clucks. 🐔
Most of the people I’ve talked and texted with have the order for one and two opposite of mine. But Popeyes chicken sandwich is so amazing I don’t see how it couldn’t be first. The filet is massive and comes busting out the delicious, pillowy bun. Pickles and the mayo hit super well together. The spicy I’m not as much a fan of, because it barely has any kick. They need to take a page from McDonald’s. Altogether, I would say Popeyes takes the cake in Baylor-Gonzaga-like fashion.
Rating: 5 out of 5 clucks. A perfect 10! 🐔
Something minor you may have gathered from all my reviews: the pickles on the sandwich bit? Not for me. I also consider myself an avid foodie, I’m not gonna lie. What qualifies me? I’m overweight, work a shit schedule, and don’t have the time or skill to cook a full meal. Of course, I always make the time here and there for a spaghetti dinner. But who knows, between fellow writer Christian and his pizza review and myself we might have to tag-team food reviews for 10K!
Professional Driver. Lover of all things sports. I once cut meat for Paul Allen and Mark Rosen. I talk on a podcast about men hugging each other aggressively.