If You Drive a Jeep Gladiator, You’re a Loser

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I’ve been noticing WAAAY too many Jeep “trucks’ on the road these days, and I feel the need to convey my utter disdain towards them. The Jeep Gladiator is, without question, the worst vehicle on the market today. Closely followed by any Subaru and those cars that look like Kleenex boxes.

The Loser-Mobile

Just hurts my eyes looking at it.

Not only do I see them on the highways, but I see them everyday at work. Some poor soul that works in the building next to my current place of employment actually purchased one. WHAT A LOSER.

Boasting a clearance of exactly 3 inches off the ground and a truck bed that you would have a hard time fitting a dining chair in, impractical is the only way I can think to describe it. I cannot comprehend why anyone in their right mind would purchase one of these. This is the vehicle guys buy when they go into a dealership and say “I really want to buy a truck, but I’m a giant pussy”.

These Jeeps legitimately look like the CEO tasked all of their employees to ask their offspring to draw the next model but then took the worst one possible as the winner. “Good job Timmy, papa just got a raise!”. Since I draw like a 2nd grader, I decided that I’d put that theory to the test. Here are the results.

I’d say that my theory checks out. As you can see in the drawing, it’s a spitting image of what you’ll see on 35E driving tomorrow. God bless your soul if you’re currently parading around like an asshole in one of these. You obviously have zero self respect. Do yourself a favor and ghost ride your Jeep Gladiator off a bridge. That way you can collect the insurance money to purchase literally ANY other vehicle. Then once you purchase a real truck, go read my other blogs.