Noggin Boss has made a grave mistake. It’s been SEVERAL weeks since I placed my order and I’ve lost my patience. They now have to deal with a pissed-off blogger and only have their own incompetence to blame. I’ve exhausted all options to get in contact with them, except for one: writing a blog. Today is the day I draw a line in the sand. Today is the day I take a stand and become the keyboard warrior I was meant to be. I’m going to war with Noggin Boss.
There’s nothing more dangerous than a blogger and their keyboard
Kim Jong-un
A Detailed Timeline
When I was a younger Sarge, I was known to make “impulse” purchases. I may have aged but I still do the same shit today. When I first saw Brian Robinson with that big ass hat I knew immediately that I NEEDED one with a 10K logo on it. These big ass hats have been taking over the internet since this tweet and I wanted a piece of the internet fame. So I bought one.
1st Red Flag
On December 2nd, 2022 I placed my order for 1 customized 10K logo hat, understanding that it would take 4 – 6 weeks to deliver. I’m well aware that 1 single customized hat is a tiny fish in a big pond so I gave them the benefit of the doubt after radio silence. January 8th, 2023 I received the following email:
My big ass hat should have already been made and shipped by now. Hell, it should be on my head right meow. Not just “moving into production” for fucks sake!!!
But I digress.
I was excited to see at least some sort of confirmation that order #7763 was in the works. So I thought…
2nd Red Flag
On January 26th, 18 days after the production confirmation email, I reached out to the customer support team. I sent the simple “any update on my order” email and have yet to receive any response. We’re now into February.
Oh, but you bet your ass they took my money back in December. I don’t ask for much, I just want my comically oversized hat. Does Noggin Boss not care about their customers? Is it too much to ask for a response from your customer support team? Anything is better than nothing.
3rd Red Flag
Getting the cold shoulder sent me into a full-on keyboard warrior frenzy as I went to write a nasty google review for them. My one-star rating paired with my story would surely send them into bankruptcy. I went to my computer and saw what I suspected all along.
I’ve been bamboozled by the big hat company. Every single review had my exact story. Placed an order, took forever, they reached out, get ghosted and they are still waiting for their big ass hat. Not cool.
So… What now?
We set an ultimatum. If I do not receive an update on my hat in 7 business days, I’m resorting to Twitter warfare. The wild west of the internet. Your days are numbered, Noggin Boss.
Author’s Note: Some of us are participating in the Minnesota Cup this weekend. I was hoping to show off my giant hat here, but alas. Check out last year’s video on our Youtube and subscribe! See you this weekend!
Lead guitarist of the RockBand band, COViD KiDS |
2 time Diverticulitis haver |
Addicted to snus and “your mom” jokes |
Was told by my gym teacher, Mr. Dewitt, that I wouldn’t amount to anything in life. Suck it Dewitt, I’m a blogger!!