Iowa City is a Black Hole for Points

Football NCAA Uncategorized

Points make the game of football exciting. In that sense, Iowa football is far from exciting. But, in terms of aliens and black holes, Iowa football may be as exciting as it comes. In week 1, we saw Iowa fail to score an offensive TD against an FCS opponent, South Dakota State. Week 2, it was more of the same in their loss to Iowa State. Points tend to disappear out of thin air in Iowa City which makes me think that whole place is a black hole for points… Here’s a few reasons why.

The Offense

They have now gone 8 quarters with just one offensive touchdown (against SDSU, they went with the tried and true classic “two safeties and a field goal” method to score their 7 points) and in two full games have amounted just over 300 yards of total offense. Most teams would’ve fired their offensive coordinator by now. Iowa offensive coordinator is Brian Ferentz, son of Head Coach, Kirk Ferentz. Funny how that works. Do you think it’s okay to ground your 39 year-old son? I’m a big narrative guy and the longer this goes, the better the story becomes. Does Brian resign before getting fired by his father? Does Kirk have the stones to choose football over family? Tune in next week.

The Defense

Alright, this defense is awesome, maybe even the best in the Big Ten. In their first two games, the Iowa defense has given up a combined 13 points. Is it sustainable? Only time will tell. (Spoiler alert: No)

The Alien

Tory Taylor. This dude is about as electric as can be for a punter. Some think he’s not a real person. Possibly an alien. With that said, things are definitely not going well if the main talking point about your team is the punter. As a consolation to a mediocre season, Taylor seems to have a great chance to win the Ray Guy Award for being the best punter in college football.

The Future

Honestly, nobody knows what to expect from Iowa except that they won’t score any points. And yet, they will still win some stupid night game at home against a team that’s objectively much better than them in every sense of the word. Watch out, Michigan.