Is a burger a sandwich?

Everything Else
Marlow

There is nothing that I genuinely enjoy more than being the devil’s advocate in a drunken verbal altercation with the boys. The amount of power I feel as I watch my friends rage at my takes adds a bit of spice to my otherwise pretty mediocre existence. However, when it comes to this sandwich debate, I’m not intentionally being an asshole. So before you read on, decide what side of the fence you fall on, and I’ll either tell you why you’re right, or why you’re a total dip shit.

Yes. A burger is a sandwich.

Take a look at the literal definition of what a sandwich is.

To start, what the fuck is up with that second definition example? Bonkers that nobody at Oxford read that out loud in the board meeting and didn’t immediately think of porn.

Moving on, the definition clearly states that it is two pieces of bread filled with meat, cheese, or other fillings. Let’s break down the anatomy of a burger real quick. Two pieces of bread with meat and other fillings in-between. Now I’m not a math guy, but that sounds like the exact same fucking thing right?

What arguments do people have for it not being a sandwich?

One of the more frequent arguments that I hear in response to this is “Zac, burgers are made with buns instead of bread.” I feel like I’m taking crazy pills, what the hell is a bun made of? BREAD you turd.

Another that comes up is that burgers are their own category, and therefore cannot be categorized as a sandwich. We aren’t comparing pizza to French fries here. Hell, we’re not even comparing pizza to calzones. If we are stacking up definition to definition it is the exact same thing.

“Burgers are hot, sandwiches are cold!” Have you never had a grilled cheese before? Did your parents hate you? This is a desperation take from someone who has never been hugged before.

If you hated the stuff above, it only gets worse below.

While we are at it, I want to make another thing very clear. A hot dog is also a sandwich. I’ll even go as far to say that they should change it to Nathan’s Sandwich Eating contest. It sounds way more impressive to hear that Joey Chestnut just deep-throated 76 sandwiches.

In summary, I’m right and you’re wrong, unless you’re on my team then glad to have you. While we are the minority, let’s keep up the good fight and crush as many sandwiches as we can to continue this thicc boi summer.