“Mom! Where do babies come from?” “Hey Dad, can you bring me to the farm you sent our dog to?” “Yo bro, can I ask out your ex-girlfriend?” From day one, I’ve made a living through asking the hard questions that nobody wants to answer. This one’s no different, and I think it’s time to finally discuss. Is hockey getting softer than basketball?Before everyone freaks out, I lose this blogging gig, and the state of Minnesota deports me; please hear me out. First, I understand hockey players wear helmets without masks, and pucks fly around them at 100mph. Second, I know they can legally check and inflict physical damage on someone’s body. Lastly, I am aware hockey players can toss their gloves, grip the opponent’s sweater, and deliver a knuckle sandwich faster than a Jimmy John’s sub. However, in recent weeks, the sport of basketball threw its cards on the table. As a result, the sport presents a legitimate case for become more dangerous than hockey. Take a look.
January 21st, 2022:
Caruso, apparently unaware of the madman chasing him down, went up for a fast break dunk. He thought he was about to put fellow freak-athlete Pat Connaughton on a poster. Instead, he found himself headed face-first into the floor. Do I think Grayson Allen tried to block his shot? Kinda? Do I think he ripped him down with two arms after realizing he wasn’t getting it? Yes. Caruso still hasn’t played since the broken wrist, and Allen received a 1 game suspension for the act.
February 20th, 2022:Juwan Howard smokes Joe Krabbenhoft with a slap that would make Vasily Kamotskiy jealous. If you’ve never heard of Mr. Kamotskiy, he might just be one of the greatest athletes of our generation. Anyway, Michigan’s head coach started an all-out brawl. The benches cleared, coaches were tackled, and a couple of freshmen chucked punches. Frankly, it looked like a sloppy night at Sally’s Saloon. Howard received 5 games off for his actions, while three Badger and Wolverine players got 1 game suspensions.
March 8th, 2022:
Oh my word. I suppose when you go 21-4, 15-3 in conference, and then get down by more than double your score in the Big Dance clinching game, there’s only one thing left to do. Have your fans start a fight in the crowd and try to join it as quickly as possible.Fortunately, no Wagner or Bryant players acted in violence. Unfortunately, one college student in a USA jersey received a 5-knuckle-shuffle directly to the face. Luckily, he ended up being okay. However, one Wagner player collected an ejection for trying to enter the fight, and one person was actually criminally arrested for their role in the events.
March 9th, 2022:
In every single one of the prior fights, emotions were running high and people lost their cools. In this case, Buddy Boehiem simply followed the old adage of “kick em’ while they’re down.” However, he punched him, likely because he thought it was a little less conspicuous. It wasn’t.
Regardless, Buddy’s inner hockey revealed itself while up 15 in the 8 vs 9 seed game of the ACC tournament. This is what we call straight-up bullying the opponent. Boehiem received both an ejection and one game suspension for the altercation.
Slaps, punches, brawls, ejections, suspensions, and even arrests support the case. Whether the basketball family saw an uptick in testosterone, the players grew tired of being called floppers, or they’re simply letting out the frustrations of not being allowed to play puck, basketball becomes more violent by the day. The proof’s all there for the question of…is hockey getting softer than basketball? Before we know it, March Madness and the NBA Finals will be a Royal Rumble with the star player from each team duking it out until only one remains. I can’t wait.Please click any of the “hockey” links to view more stories about Minnesota High School, College, and professional hockey.
I’m just the ugly stepson of the 10K family. Part Minnesotan, Part Wisconsinite. Half best friend, half mortal enemy. Can’t live with me, can’t live without me.