juicy lucy

It Is Time To Admit That Juicy Lucy’s Suck


The Midwest is known for a lot of amazing foods. Tater Tot Hot Dish, Wild Rice Soup, Corn On the Cob, (editor’s note: we sure we’re gonna claim corn on the cob for the midwest?) the list goes on. But there is one particular food that is famous in the Midwest that is so beyond overrated. Now, I know I will probably get a lot of shit for this but don’t worry I can back it up. That aforementioned food I was talking about? Yeah, that would be a Juicy Lucy…

First of all, it’s the dumbest concept ever. Cheese INSIDE the burger? Why not put the cheese on top like a normal fucking cheeseburger, it all tastes the same!! I feel like whoever came up with this idea was struggling with idea and just decided to slap the cheese in the middle of the burger instead of on top. Real creative!

Seriously though have you ever bitten into a Juicy Lucy? You get fucking sprayed down with cheese that is hotter than Miley Cyrus before heroin. Look at this poor bastard:

Not only did that guy lose every single ounce of his cheese but he also got third degree burns. It’s too bad this couldn’t be prevented… Oh, wait! This is TOTALLY preventable is you just eat a normal fucking burger.

Don’t even start with the bullshit “cut it in half” argument. As soon as you cut that bitch in half, it turns into the Pacific Ocean all over your plate. Like… Sorry! I didn’t order fucking soup!

There is nothing better than going out with the boys for a burger and a couple beers. But please don’t make the stupid ass mistake of ordering a Juicy Lucy. They are horrible.

I mean, COME ON! They didn’t even make Nick’s Top 37 Best Foods in Minnesota. Do you know how bad something has to be for there to be 37 things above it?! So before you come at me (unless you’re Bubba and have my money), look inward and think “when’s the last time I had a Juicy Lucy?” If it wasn’t in the last week, you’ve proven my point. It’s ok. It’s just time for us all to admit that the Juicy Lucy sucks.