Alex Rodridquez is buying the Timberwolves. Yes, you read that right, that’s the type of world 2021 is now. That was very surprising, but do you know what’s not surprising? JLo saying “bye bye, Arod” for being associated with this sad franchise. That’s right, JLo and Arod breakup, and it’s all because of allegations of ARod cheating the Minnesota Timberwolves.
The flaming of the Wolves
They have been together for quite some time now, even getting engaged in March 2019. Is it a coincidence that within days of Arod becoming a leader in buying this cursed franchise, that JLo ended it? I truly think not. We don’t even get to enjoy seeing her at games, sad.
When will the pain end for this team? The answer is most likely never. Celebrity dream couples like this never break up. Nothing could have ended their relationship, but our damn Wolves did in less than a week. It hurts.Will Arod be seeking vengeance now? Will he bring this team to the promise land out of shear anger and spite? Or will he pack it up and send the ship packing to Vegas or Seattle? Who knows, but we sadly deserve to be booted far away. Far, far away.
Now this is just kind of sad. ARod is being added to the 10K Simp List after that. Arod is down bad (editor’s note: who the fuck can blame him? I’d be down worse if I got dumped by JLo), this isn’t the energy we need from our new owner. Cmon man, get out of the gutter!
This team truly is a curse, isn’t it? I can’t even go on any longer, seeing the jokes about our team hurts. Wait, hold up… Isn’t there a Timberwolf who famously hooks up with women in relationships? Maybe JLo is just moving on to Malik Beasley!
JLo didn’t want a damn thing to do with this god forsaken team (unless she does). She is smarter than all of us and straight up left her man to avoid the crippling depression of Wolves fandom. Going to these lengths to not have to go to TWolves games is impressive, kudos to her. Now Arod, please get over this so you can take this team to the promise land. We need you, Alex, even if JLo clearly doesn’t.

10K sports writer that specializes in Timberwolves content. Lover of pizza, disc golf and having the Timberwolves forever make me sad.