Journalist Jake

Journalist Jake is a COWARD for not Storming Lambeau Field

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Last Sunday was tough on all Vikings fans. Our star quarterback, Kirk Cousins, tore his Achilles tendon to be replaced by the rookie, Jaren Hall. It was at this moment that Journalist Jake had a decision to make. Stay in the stands like a model citizen or make a break for the field to become a legend. Pretend you’re actually Kirk Cousins. The ultimate content opportunity.

At 10K, we pride ourselves on making premium content for your enjoyment. JJ had his chance to take us to the next level as a company as well as potentially making the most viral content in 10K internet history. But there was only one issue. He never stormed the field because he’s a COWARD!!

Journalist Jake the cowardly lion

By all accounts, Jaren Hall is most likely a far superior quarterback than Journalist Jake but that’s beside the point here. He missed an opportunity of a lifetime to storm Lambeau once Kirk went down. He was obviously fully prepared, incorrect jersey in all, to fulfill the prophecy of an all-time bit.

On this week’s “It’s a Bit” podcast (download here), this scenario was brought up by our fearless leader Bossman at the 27:52 mark. Make sure to listen but here’s the start of that time of the podcast.

Could You Imagine if Journalist Jake Wasn’t a Coward?

Seriously, how fucking funny would it have been if JJ somehow got onto the field? It’s actually insane how similar Kirk and Jake look. I honestly think he could’ve made the huddle if he had the right jersey and was 8 inches taller. Kirk himself admitted that they looked like each other.

It’s easy for me to say that Jake missed his one shot, his one opportunity to storm on the field and call him a coward. I’m well aware of that and that’s why I’m writing this blog, hiding behind my keyboard in my parent’s basement. It’s even easier to say that if I was hypothetically Jake I would’ve gone for it. I know I would have (wink). But I’m Sarge and I don’t look like Kirk Cousin’s way less athletic and uglier little brother.

I’ve been pondering the pros and cons if Jake wasn’t a coward and the pros vastly outweigh the cons. Getting arrested, spending the night in jail, going to court, paying a serious fine, having a criminal record, and getting permanently banned from Lambeau pales in comparison to becoming ridiculously internet-famous.

It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if he secretly regrets not attempting. I know I would.

This could’ve been JJ…