Kirk Cousins Is So The Vikings NVP

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This past Sunday we once again got to experience one of my new favorite traditions in the NFL. The game being broadcasted on Nick-nick-nick-nick-nick-nick-nick-nick, Nickelodeon! It’s basically an NFL game with animated slime and SpongeBob SquarePants characters running amok all over the field. If our hometown team is ever lucky enough to play in the Nickelodeon game, Kirk Cousins is SO the Vikings NVP.

Slime Monster

At the end of the game, the player with the “best” performance is awarded with the NVP (Nickelodeon Valuable Player) trophy. The catch is that fan’s vote during the game, so that bad boy can really go to anyone. They only give you like six options and the website is hard to looks at with all that’s coming at you, but it goes to the funniest instead of the best.

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The broadcast is full of little kids that I’ve never heard of and probably make more money in a week than I will my entire life. I get it, it’s supposed to be for the kids, but I don’t need that smart ass young Sheldon explaining to me what every god damn penalty is.

The other notable member of the Nickelodeon crew is none other former Vikings wide receiver Nate Burleson. Maybe I’ve been out of the loop, but how the fuck did Nate Burleson become an NFL personality? He’s doing the Nickelodeon game and does the morning show on NFL Network. I like it when former NFL stars get into broadcasting and other football shit, but Nate Burleson? I mean he was ok…but not really.

Why Kirk Is My NVP

Last year Mitch Trubisky won the NVP. The Bears lost that game 21-9. He didn’t have a terrible game, but only threw for 199 yards and a touchdown. Not the greatest.

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Trubisky Is So Pardon My Takes NVP

This past Sunday the NVP was awarded to Dak Prescott. Once again, we didn’t have a bad game. Almost led the Cowboys back to which would have been one the greatest comebacks ever, but didn’t.

On the last play of the game, Prescott attempted to spike the ball to get one last shot at the end zone. Before he could successfully do so, he was ran into by the ref who needed to spot the ball before the play can begin. While all that was going on the clock struck zero. Game over. Season over.

Sorry Dak, couldn’t get you a fair shot at winning a playoff game but here’s an orange blimp that was given to you pretty much as a joke.

That is such a Kirk Cousins thing to happen.

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Kirk Cousins Is So The Vikings NVP

First off. The NVP is a joke. All of twitter and America would decide to vote for Kirk before this game even started.

I could totally see a Vikings playoff game ending like that too. You don’t see anyone really putting too much blame on Dak Prescott for the loss but if that were the Vikings and Kirk. Oh shit. The Cousins haters on Twitter wouldn’t be able to sleep until they got all their shitty Kirk takes out there.

Whether he deserved it or not. Or he had the game of his career or one his shitty ones, Kirk is our NVP.

I also would have love to see the Jake Cousins interview after winning such a prestigious award.