Let Batman Eat Pussy, You Cowards

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In a recent interview about the R-rated “Harley Quinn” series on HBO Max, DC was called out for pulling the plug on a scene that would have had Batman “performing oral” on Catwoman. This is arguably one of the most seductive and cosplayed super-hero/villain “romances” of all time. It was FINALLY going where it should have been all along and then *poof* gone faster than Barry Allen. What a bunch of box-blocking masterhaters.

When asked further about the decision they could have simply stated “superheroes are targeted towards children” and it probably would have been over. But no. They went with the route of an 1880’s virgin by first stating “heroes don’t do that”. As you could imagine, the internet did not take the news lightly. Gender equality, sex-positive, comic book, and horny Twitter all came together in a united effort. The results were nothing short of amazing:

The Riddler Chimes In
@thetzechun made an awfully convincing argument
Even former actors were chiming in…he does

This is a *bonk* free zone, but there’s plenty more x-rated material floating around Twitter right now if that’s your bag. In fact, I haven’t seen this much cartoon smut floating around since they redesigned Lola Bunny for the new Space Jam movie.

A Selfless Lover

Of all the people in the world, Bruce Wayne should be furious. He’s having the title of least selfish lover of all time stripped from him before Catwoman can even strip in front of him. It’s 2021, most men are MORE than comfortable spending extended time south of the border by now. One can only imagine the concoction a fully leather/latex suit would produce and hold in with all those acrobatics and fighting. Even with that, Batman was willing to go down, give her an Aussie kiss, and clean her axe wound (sorry about that one) one lick at a time.

It’s been obvious since Catwoman’s introduction that Batman was into the skin-tight latex jumpsuits. We don’t kink shame here at 10k, just an observation! Not only that, but the only superhero with more gadgets and gizmos than Batman is the other billionaire playboy over in the Marvel Universe! We all know god damn well that Bruce wears the utility belt into the bedroom locked and loaded for every scenario.

Batman Returns (1992) Directed by Tim Burton (Photofest)

One More DC Mistake

Honestly, there’s been so much talk about eating ass in the last few years that I thought we were well past being outraged by a little oral. DC is worried about being able to sell toys to the children when they haven’t even thought about selling toys to adults. Plus, all the kids today are already on TikTok which may be the single horniest platform behind OnlyFans. You ain’t gonna be showing them anything they haven’t seen on there already and if you are, IT’S ALREADY AN R-RATED SERIES SO WHO CARES!?!

DC has made many mistakes over the last decade or so, but this may be their biggest misstep since Justice League. It’s honestly perplexing why DC would be so on board with all of the other violence and sexuality in this series, but draw the line at a little bit of tongue play. Who knows, maybe they’re saving the caped crusader from throat cancer a la Michael Douglas. A tip of the cap goes to sweet Dee and It’s Always Sunny…

A note from the Editor:

But wait – hold up a minute. Hasn’t Batman gone down on Catwoman before?

King of the Snyderverse confirmed it abolutely goes down

Oh yeah. He sure has. Zach Snyder’s Batman definitely fucks. For starters, he’s fucking Ben Affleck. Dude might have the worst tattoo in human history, but he definitely knows his way around the female form. This Batman shoots guns, drops F-Bombs, and kills anyone whose mother isn’t named Martha. You expect me to believe he doesn’t please his sexual partners? Bullshit.

RIP to the Snyderverse

But here’s the thing. Battfleck is no more. The so-called Snyderverse is dead. And now we know why. The powers that be at DC simply cannot abide by the fact that a super-wealthy white guy would eat pussy. Obviously, they refuse to go down on a woman so they’re lashing out at anyone who would dare to suggest the female orgasm exists.

Clearly, this cunnilingus controversy coverup is the only reason the Snyderverse is dead. Zack Snyder is brave for sticking to his vision, a vision that we can all get behind: A billionaire with a bat fetish who punches poor people BUT also is a generous lover. A man of the people. A hero.

Also, shoutout to our podcast “It’s a Bit” where they discuss this very topic on this weeks show (coming Tuesday).