10K Takes Mailbag

Mailbag Time, Baby!


Hello and welcome back to the top mailbag anywhere in the world, where yours truly, gives you the answers to life’s most pressing questions. As always, I have omitted your names to prevent anyone from learning how dumb some of you are and I have edited some of the questions so they actually make sense. If you’ve got a question you want answered, send it to 10ktakesmailbag@gmail.com and, if you’re lucky, I’ll tell you the answer. This week we’ve got the usual absolute nonsense slate of questions. We’re talking Gopher Football, mice, baseball, and more. On to the submissions.

Got Milk?

No. I don’t. I haven’t purchased milk in like 5 years. It’s a necessary drink for small children who need the nutrients. Now, it’s worthless. If you’re an adult who still drinks milk, you should sign up for my life advice class. Venmo me $1,500 and I’ll tell you how to live.

Why is the Gopher Football team struggling?

Because the word before Gopher in their name is Minnesota and here in Minnesota we can’t have nice things. In all reality, we knew the team would take a step back because of the departures. However, I don’t think any of us thought we were gonna play like the fucking trash fire teams at Rutgers and down in Lincoln. Hopefully the coaching staff leans hard into playing as many young guys as possible and getting them ready for next season. Either way, this will continue to be a long season. I recommend weed and bourbon.

Should I buy a snow blower?

I mean, sure, why not? They’re cool and make clearing the driveway a lot easier. Wait, you do have a driveway, right? You aren’t just like buying a snow blower to have one, right? I will admit, I don’t have one because I have very little area to shovel and I’m not that damn lazy, but if you’ve got the money and you like spending it, go nuts. Let me know when you get it so you can come over and clear some snow for me.

Will Notre Dame win the National Championship?

Of course. They’re Bubba’s favorite team and he would never be wrong about anything. They’re probably gonna have to play Clemson again, but this time with Trevor Lawrence. Who cares. Clemson won’t even drag it to OT the next time. They’ll probably concede at the half.

What’s the best way to take care of a mouse problem?

Get a cat. Name it Garfield. Feed it lasagna. Should be good to go before you know it.

Do you know any good jokes?

No. But I know some shitty ones. For example, if you are facing a sea lion in a triathlon you need to be aware that they will be faster than you on both land and in the water. As a result, you’re gonna need to crush the cycling portion if you want to win.

Why are you the way that you are?

Because this level of excellence cannot be contained. Next question.

Is there really more than one way to skin a cat?

Hey hold the fuck up for a second. Why are you wanting to know about skinning cats, you psycho? Do not under any circumstances go around doing cat murders. I don’t care if you’re “more of a dog person,” don’t do it.

That being said, I would imagine there are probably several ways to skin a cat. Ask one of the 10K Outdoors guys, they probably know about skinning animals.

Is the universal DH a good idea?

Not only is it a good idea, it’s long overdue. Nobody wants to watch some limp wristed pitcher trot out there and strikeout or attempt to lay a bunt down. That shit sucks. We want to see roided up monsters hitting the ball 600 feet like god intended.

In fact, we should have more DHs. That second baseman who can’t hit a beach ball? DH for his sorry ass. The speedy centerfielder who couldn’t hit a homer if his life depended on it? You guessed it, bring in another DH to hit roid bombs.

Which sport has the best commissioner?

Aren’t they all huge shit bags? I know I hate the NFL and MLB guys because they both suck absolute ass. Gary Bettman is a giant dork, but I guess he isn’t as bad as Manfred and Goodell. I feel like I don’t hear a lot of bad stuff about Adam Silver, so maybe he’s the pick. To be clear, I’m sure Silver sucks too, I just don’t know about it yet.

If any of you have a different (wrong) answer to any of these questions, feel free to let me know in the comments or on twitter @billybrew. As always, if you have a question you want answered, send it to 10Ktakesmailbag@gmail.com and maybe I’ll get to it.