The other night I laid in bed staring up at the ceiling in complete darkness. I was going on about hour 3 or so of being too afraid to close my eyes. I knew what existed on the back of my eyelids: a continuous loop of the Packer’s long snapper, Steven Wirtel, being choke slammed into Corey Bojorquez’s Sunday afternoon stroll of a punt setup. Absolute nightmare fuel. You know, just typical Wednesday night stuff. Anyway, I decided to give my phone a little lookski around 2:30 a.m., and maybe see if I could ignore the torture for at least a few minutes. Naturally, I started searching Minnesota Wild tickets because they’re the only positive thing in my life right now. And that’s when I saw this……the early leader for top alpha move of 2022. Yes, the New York Rangers really charge $361 more dollars for the same nosebleed tickets than the cross-town rival Islanders. That’s like someone stealing your parking spot after you waited patiently for 5 minutes just because they lifted their truck higher than you. Alphaed.
That’s like someone smashing crouch over your dead body on Halo just because they invested more of their mom’s money into a PC than you. Alphaed. That’s like someone stealing your wife just because they’re better looking and make more money than you. Alphaed.The amount of disrespect that goes into setting these prices is beautifully petty. I respect the heck out of it. Yes, I understand it’s Madison Square Garden and the Rangers are retiring Henrik Lundqvist’s number, but I don’t think anyone gets how big of a middle finger they’re throwing. So, let me put that into perspective.
Things that cost the same as New York Rangers vs Minnesota Wild Tickets:
- A 3 night trip to Denver ($373).
2. An Apple Watch Series 7 with GPS ($379).3. The next 5 wild games plus fees ($372).
4. Flying to New York Round Trip, Getting an Uber, and Minnesota Wild Tickets vs The Islanders (<$368)
Things that cost the same as New York Islanders vs Minnesota Wild Tickets:
- 6 Pack of Busch Light ($6.99)
2. Two iPhone charging cables ($5.09)
3. A Domino’s 3 Topping Pizza ($7.99)I went into this thing thinking $7 for a NHL ticket was absurd. Then, I realized what I could get for $7, and now I might just be watching this game at home with a 6-pack of Busch and a 3 topping pizza for $15. Go Wild.
I’m just the ugly stepson of the 10K family. Part Minnesotan, Part Wisconsinite. Half best friend, half mortal enemy. Can’t live with me, can’t live without me.