My Noggin Boss Hat Is Finally Here

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Sarge

Holy Santa Claus shit. After 6 months, my Noggin Boss hat is finally here and it has vastly exceeded my expectations. I thought this glorious day would never come.

Waiting six months for a Noggin Boss hat is like starring in your own version of Groundhog Day – a living nightmare! But alas, here we are, six long and painful months later, and I finally have my hands on the most sought-after headwear in all the land. Many call it the sombrero of baseball caps, due to its flamboyance and pure, raw, unadulterated sex appeal.

Timeline Recap

I’m Going To War With Noggin Boss
Read for the detailed recap and to pump my pageviews

The saga began on December 2nd, 2022, the day I placed an order for a customized 10K logo hat. Got radio silence until January 8th, 2023 when I received an email indicating that my hat was moving into “production”.

But as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months, I started to wonder if my Noggin Boss hat was ever going to arrive. Was it ever going to move into production? Did it get put on the back burner after I wrote my threatening blog?

The Reaction

Of course, after waiting this long, I was starting to feel like less of a noggin boss and more like a noggin chump. I mean, who waits half a year for a hat? But then, finally, the day arrived. I received an email from Noggin Boss saying that my hat was on its way. I felt like a kid on Christmas morning, except instead of a shiny new toy, I was getting an oversized piece of fabric to put on my head.

When the hat finally arrived, I tore open the package like a wild animal. I pulled it out of the box and held it up to the light, admiring its sleek blackness and the way the logo shone in the sun. I felt a rush of pride wash over me as I placed it on my head, ready to take on the world.

Was My Noggin Boss Hat Worth All $125?

Now, listen. Only an absolute moron would pay $125 (plus shipping & fondling) for a massive hat, but that moron just might be a genius. Ever think about that? It’s going to look phenomenal with my black 10K Takes Heavyweight Tee and you bet your sweet ass I’ll be wearing it on the golf course. It has the potential to be a bit of a nuisance but that’s not going to stop me from going low. My mental toughness is similar to one of a Shaolin Monk and I feel like a boss as bitch in it.

So what have I done with my newfound noggin bossiness, you may ask? Did I start investing in various shitcoins? Did I negotiate a raise at work? Well, no. I mostly just wore the hat around the house and took selfies with it. But hey, that’s the power of a good hat. It can make you feel like a boss, even if you’re just singing in the truck alone.

So, was waiting six months for a Noggin Boss hat worth it? Honestly, I’m still not sure. But one thing’s for sure – I’ll be wearing this thing until it falls apart, whether I look like a boss or not.