Are you like the rest of the world and waited until the last second to figure out your Halloween costume? Do you still want it to be clever, hilarious, sexy, or genius? Does it need to make all your friends jealous or anyone you might meet obsessed? If you answered yes to either of those two questions, you’re gonna need a different blog. The following list is for the procrastinators who just need something to get them in the door so they can get mind numbingly drunk with their friends this weekend.
The Official Halloween Costume List:
1. Ted Lasso and Coach BeardHalloween in today’s society is all about partying. What happened to the good-ole wholesome tricker treating days? This Ted Lasso costume will bring all those good vibes and happiness back to this fun day. Plus, who doesn’t want to rock the mustache right into Movember.
2. Any Famous Country Music Singer
Kenny Chesney? Straw cowboy hat, jeans, and a wife beater. Morgan Wallen? Mullet, jeans, and a cutoff flannel. Jimmy Buffet? Captain’s hat, khaki shorts, and a Hawaiian shirt. I’m sure you’d get extra points if you threw in a Margaritaville glass and sign too. Best of all, this idea allows you to make Youtube karaoke a part of the pregame or a main event of the night.
3. Nick and Jess from New GirlI know for a fact any guy from Minnesota has an oversized flannel and pair of khakis in the closet. Now let the beard go the next few days, and you’re set with the easy part. Finding your Jess will be a little more tricky. Read these next few sentences very carefully. First, you’re going to your girlfriend or wife’s favorite store and buying a cute little polka-dotted summer dress with a matching cardigan. Then, you’re hitting Amazon for a pair of nice blue-light, non-prescription glasses. Now here’s the big brain part. She can’t be mad at you for what you’re about to do, because you got her all those nice things in steps 1 and 2. Finally, in the middle of the night, you’re going to cut her hair into bangs. She no longer has a choice but to go along with the costume idea.
4. Michelob Golden Light and Michelob Golden Draft
The couple costume of all couple costumes. Nothing says Halloween in Minnesota like buying 10 racks of Mich Golden and it’s heavier, more filling partner. This idea allows for a little more creativity as you can arrange all the empty cans and cardboard boxes into any design you want. I’d personally go with a hat made from empty cans with a matching cardboard cape. I know others would go with more of the college house beer wall look. With this costume, hosting the Halloween party makes the most sense. You will have 300 beers to delete. Depending on your taste, Busch Lattes and Busch Diesels would work just as well.
5. A Minnesota Sports FanYou would think you would be wearing some combination of Vikings, Wild, Timberwolves, Twins, and Gophers gear. However, we’re putting a spin on it. For this Halloween costume, you need to wear all black. Long sleeved clothing with a lot of holes in them would be preferred. After that, you need to accessorize with chains, spiked bracelets or necklaces, tattoos, piercings, thick mascara, and style your hair to cover one eye. When you start to look like a combination of MGK meets the Skids from Letter Kenny, just add a sign with your saddest Minnesota sports moment.
Now that’s what I call terrifying nightmare fuel. You could make a horror feature film with this material.
Many other Halloween costumes made honorable mention. Wearing your worst bad beat and the potential winnings written out on a sign or shirt would most definitely be a spooky conversation starter at almost any party. That’s not even to mention all the possibility for a larger group to each pick a character from Rick and Morty. If all else fails, scrubs are cheap and almost everyone on the planet has heard of Grey’s Anatomy. We hope some of these ideas work, but most importantly…be safe and have fun this Halloween.
I’m just the ugly stepson of the 10K family. Part Minnesotan, Part Wisconsinite. Half best friend, half mortal enemy. Can’t live with me, can’t live without me.