Night 28: The Worst Horror Movie of All Time???

Everything Else

On night 28 of my horror movie marathon, I step away from the horrors of TV shows and back into movies. And honestly, after watching “No One Will Save You”, I should’ve stuck with the horror show theme. This movie was TERRIBLE with a scare rating of 1.5/10.

Let’s Dive In

Here’s the thing. In 2023 we were introduced to the idea that we as humans may not be alone after all, right? Like, it’s not science fiction anymore, it’s reality. “No One Will Save You” brings that reality to the big screen but instead of easing into the story they give us ten minutes before jumping on in. It’s like the movie “Signs” but fifty thousand times worse and not as scary.

The movie follows a young girl, Brynn, alone in her childhood(?) home where she writes notes to her sister(?), Maude, who’s no longer in the picture. Is she dead? Is she away at college? Who knows. Anyway, one night she’s awoken due to some clatter outside which is caused by, you guessed it, an alien. The creature torments her over and over again before seemingly becoming victorious. That’s until Brynn stabs it in the side of the head with a sharp object, killing the beast in the front hallway.

As the sun rises, Brynn finds herself at a loss for words for what happened the previous night. She leaves her home and ventures into town, where she arrives at the police station.

*Friends, please know that there hasn’t been ANY lines that have come out of any actors’ mouths. With the exception of a driver in the street yelling at her crossing the road.

Back to the House

While the visit to the town proved to be a waste of not only Brynn’s time but ours too, she finds herself on the bus heading home. What seems to be another ride turns into pure madness as other passengers start to reveal themselves as not humans but rather aliens. So, this is an all-out alien invasion movie??? Sheesh this is so bad…

As she runs back home she now can claim the title of “Alien Killer” as she slays her second. It was a seemingly easy feat but now she finds herself up against a possessed mailman of an alien and the main(?) queen alien?

*For whoever is reading this please know that I truly mean it when I say this movie is absolutely horrible. Please don’t watch it. Please. It’ll ruin your day and horror month. Potentially your entire year.

Screw It, I’m Done

For as long as I can remember I’ve never had a horror movie that I’ll just shut off due to its outright horridness. But, I guess there’s a first for everything. To save time, she gets taken into the spaceship and is put into a trance-like state where she’s happy in a town full of people.

Next Up: Stephen King’s Rose Red