Opening Day Is Too Early

Baseball MLB Twins

Spring is in the air. Or at least it was like two weeks ago. Now it’s just fucking gross outside. There’s nothing I love more than going to the Twins opening day. You finally get out at the ballpark and chow down some dogs and throw back a couple Buds with your buds. It’s an event full of hope and optimism. Especially this year, with a couple of additions to both the pitching and hitting and maybe more moves on the way. But one thing that can and usually puts a damper on it like it usually does in Minnesota? Weather. That’s why opening day is too early.

Keep Minnesota Weather Out Your Fucking Mouth


Regardless of weather, I’ll be at opening day. I think I’ve been to the past like 10 years. Obviously didn’t go the covid year but I was even there last year when 90% of the seats were zip tied. Which, by the way, was kinda fucking tight. No lines for food/pissers and not rubbing elbows, not as fun as a packed ballpark, but still a good time.

My point is, I’ve been when its 50 and sunny and I’ve been when it’s 25 and snowing. The Twins will face off against the Mariners exactly one week from today when I’m writing this. Here’s the forecast for when opening day is too early.



I know some people will say “Oh you’re from Minnesota, don’t be a pussy!” Or, “Cold air, don’t care bitch!” I do care. And maybe I am a pussy. Is it too much to ask to have an unseasonably warm day? What happened to global warming? Cause we could use a little global warming next Thursday.

I’m still excited but it just takes away form the holiday.

Deal With It I Suppose

I wanna go downtown and hit up The Loon Café for lunch then walk to the stadium and enjoy a beautiful day of baseball and beers. Followed but walking to a way too crowded cowboy jacks and standing on the rooftop deal while enjoying a few more libations.

Instead…I’ll still probably go to The Loon Café for lunch walk to the game. Still enjoying baseball, but drinking beers to stay warm and asking the people walking up and down the aisle selling coffee and hot chocolate for one of those cup sleeves to put around my beer so my hand doesn’t get too cold. Then going to the bathroom and struggling to get “it” out of all the layers.

When it's 20 degrees outside be \ And you're trying to pull 3 inches of  meat through 5 inches of Carrhart - America's best pics and videos
Live Look at me in the bathroom

I love to complain and I love baseball, so while I’ll complain the whole game, I’ll still enjoy the shit out of it.