A tradition like no other in Minnesota comes around every December. It’s when MNDOT (Minnesota Department of Transportation) allows everyday folks like us to help name their snow plows:
As someone who loves being vulgar, rule number 3 was a real kick in the “groin”. See it’s a switch I flip, I can behave when required.
I’ve been following this contest for years. Something I notice is we don’t have enough of our beloved (as of now) Minnesota sports teams in the polls. So I’ve taken on the responsibility of coming up with a few Minnesota Sports themed submissions:
5. Wheel, Scrape, Carry
Coined by “The Boys (Ferda)” in Letterkenny Riley and Jonsey is the inspiration here. Wheel snipe celly is the long way of saying you scored a goal in hockey. Lets look at the process of snow plowing… You start wheels to get there and then you need to scrape the snow/ice off the road. In certain scenarios (parking lots) you also carry it to a pile.
Even though this name is technically not related to a specific Minnesota sports team, we are the state of hockey. So anything even remotely related to hockey needs to be considered or I will demand a recount.
4. Brandon Plowell
To be honest, I didn’t have Brandon Powell being an offensive ANIMAL on my bingo card this year. When you are competing with JJ, KJ, TJ, and Jordan Addison for reps, people may have their doubts.
But because I am an idiot, everything above couldn’t be further from the truth. After losing JJ, KJ and sometimes TJ in the last few weeks, he stepped up and proved the offensive depth. Even when Kirk went down, Powell was still finding the ball from Josh Dobbs. On top of that he’s a great punt returner.
There’s been a lot of new guys on the Minnesota Vikings who have made an impact this season. But Brandon Powell certainly deserves to be part of the snow plow conversation.
3. Snhoan Duran
The common misconception at Twins games is that Jhoan Duran’s walkout graphics are flames. In all reality, they are blaze orange MNDOT snow plows.
The Minnesota Twins have been the brightest spot of 2023 making it to the 2nd round of the MLB playoffs. (Vikings, Wolves, and Wild were eliminated in the first round earlier in the year). And the guy who put games away is the one this plow is named after. He throws the ball so hard the ball can start fires, which helps in the assistance of melting snow at any freezing temperature.
2. Marc-Angushes Fleurys
Two things to note about the Author (Bossman)
- I play goalie and love goalies
- I have awful grammatical skills
Based on number one you shouldn’t be surprised and based on number two I have no idea if the word “anguish” even works like this. I kid you not, I spent a good 20 minutes looking at examples of how this word is used. Either way, I had a difficult time coming up with a verb that started with “An” (similar to Andre).
Flower is still competing with the best at age 39 and only 5 wins away from passing Patrick Roy in the most NHL wins as a Goalie. While Flower can catch pucks, I hope he can catch some actual snowstorms so that I don’t break my back from shoveling this year.
1. Rudy Snowbert
I know there’s a lot to unpack with this meme, but if you think about it there is nothing untrue about it. The MNDOT protects us from snowy/icy roads just like Rudy protects the net.
The Timberwolves are by far the most exciting team in Minnesota right now (Dec 5th) with the best record in the NBA. If anyone deserves to be my number one favorite Snow Plow name, it’s Rudy Gobert.
Not only do I hope to win this contest, but I hope the plow I helped name stays out of my sight as much as possible, meaning we finally have a mild winter (Which isn’t real).
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