Earlier today, I (along with 6 of the other people who tweet for @10K_Takes) received a very ominous threat. I’m writing this now so that there is a paper trail in case the North Carolina State Troopers find my entrails at the top of the Appalachian mountains. Or discover my corpse tied to a cinderblock at the bottom of Lake Norman. Or they locate my remains hanging from the rafters of Cameron Indoor Stadium. If any of those situations were to occur, I want them to know who did it: Producer Andy of 10K Takes.Behind his cold, dead eyes you can see that Producer Andy is really hurt. Hurt that someone would have the audacity to unfollow him on Twitter from the main account. He puts a lot of work into… whatever it is that he does here. And I do have a history of picking on him. Whether it’s calling him out for his since-deleted tweet chirping friend of the brand Alex Micheletti (while Andy’s sliding into DMs of young ladies) on Twitter, chirping him for asking me if I still work here while pumping out more content than him, or reminding him of his takes like “depth in basketball is bad”.
Andy promised a war, but instead, he launched an internal investigation. An investigation in which his detective work can be boiled down to “hey, was it you? it wasn’t you? Ok, cool, thank you for your time.” Producer Andy’s investigation lasted all of about 45 minutes before he revealed the following conclusion:But here’s the thing! He’s WRONG!!!! I know who the culprit is behind Producer Andy’s recent unfollowing spree. And it’s not my devilishly attractive co-host Zooch.
That’s right. It’s Wags. I solved the mystery in like 3 seconds because I am a genius. And also it was super obviously Wags. It’s always the person you least suspect, Producer Andy. Unless you’re me, and you just instantly suspect the right person. Then it’s that person.Producer Andy is still very upset, but the good news is he won’t read this blog (unless he does) so he will never solve the mystery and will continue to think it was Zooch. Nobody tell him. This is my new favorite bit at 10K and I plan to keep it going for as long as possible or about 4 more hours. But remember, if I stop tweeting and disappear under mysterious circumstances… Producer Andy should be your first, last, and only call.
Minnesota sports weren’t stressful enough, so I went to Auburn. Diehard everything fan. Will drink beer for money. Deathly allergic to chicken.