Ranking Utah’s Top 20 Potential Hockey Team Names

Everything Else

Yesterday Utah announced the 20 team names they are considering for their “new hockey” team. Just in case you have been living under a rock, the Phoenix Coyotes are immediately relocating to Salt Lake City Utah. That’s right Utah hockey is a thing. They plan on just having UTAH across their chest this year, before completely rebranding for the 2025-2026 season.

Here are the 20 names competing for one team name for the Utah Hockey Team!

+ a couple more

#20: Utah HC

Sweet and simple for this one. DON’T FUCKING PICK IT. The Washington football team was the dumbest name I’ve ever heard, but this one might beat it. Hockey Club? What is this a beer league? Thankfully this will not be picked because I know people in Utah aren’t that stupid.

#19: Utah Squall

This is #19 solely because I don’t know what the fuck a squall is. A quick Google search told me it was “a sudden, sharp increase in wind speed lasting minutes, as opposed to a wind gust, which lasts for only seconds. Are you fucking kidding me? Who thought of this one?

#18: Utah Ice

Whoever came up with this one is a genius. The Utah Ice how would you ever think of that? Let me guess, it’s because hockey is played on ice! Although it doesn’t sound that bad, it’s just way too basic.

#17: Utah Hive

Ok, this one actually sucks. I’ve said it out loud 10 times and it sounds stupider every time. It sounds like I’m trying to say something super fast that isn’t “Utah Hive” if that makes any sense. What I will say is you could potentially make a pretty sick jersey with this name, but this isn’t about jerseys this is about names. And well this name sucks.

#16: Utah Fury

This one is based on a book series made in 2016-2017. What is the book about you might ask? It’s a 14-book series about a fictional NHL team based in Utah. Actually pretty cool how their team could be named after a book series, but once again this is about the name. Fury? The Utah Fury. Don’t like it. NEXTTTTTTTT!

#15: Utah Caribou

Nope, this is not it at all. What’s this one based on? A white girl’s morning drink? This is the softest one I’ve seen yet. Utah Caribou? I can’t even say it without cringing.

#14: Utah Swarm

Originally I sorta of liked this one, but now I hate it. Maybe it’s because the lacrosse team used to be named that in Minnesota, but it just doesn’t click for a hockey name. Who wants their hockey team’s name to sound like a MLS team name? Not me that’s for sure.

#13: Utah Venom

No thanks. This one doesn’t sound good with “Utah” before it. The ones before honestly might sound better than this. I’m not gonna edit my entire list but for the record, this one belongs as #20B. Utah Venom. WELCOME TO THE ICEEEEEE YOUR UTAH VENOM!!!!! (that sounds a little better)

#12: Utah Frost

Yeah, this one might deserve to be more towards #20. Utah Frost? Sweet! Minnesota has frost too! This falls into the same category as Utah Ice, just plain ole stupid.

#11: Utah Blast

Now introducing your starting lineup for your UTAH BLAST! How about I blast my eardrums to so I don’t have to hear that ever again?! It sounds like a toy you would name for a kid. This is hockey Utah!

#10: Utah Canyons

Where is the Grand Canyon located? Northern Arizona. Where were the Coyotes from? Arizona. Don’t spit in their face, you already broke their hearts moving them to Utah.

#9: Utah Freeze

Ice, Frost, Freeze. You can all see they took lots of time coming up with these names. I’m surprised “Utah Melts” isn’t on the list. Why would they have that one? Because they probably first came up with ice, then said let’s just name everything that can come from water. Water can “freeze” into ice, but it also could just “frost”…. which is why I’m surprised they don’t have melt…

#8: Utah Mountaineers

Don’t like this one, don’t hate it either. I’m just wondering how they would chant that team name. Let’s go Mount-Ain-Eers (dun-dun-dunna-na). This is where the list starts to fuck with me because the name sounds shitty one minute then kinda good the next. There are better ones out there though, and this one is not it.

#7: Utah Glaciers

Originally I had this top 5, but now I want this more towards the #12 range. It just sounds tacky and dumb. Putting this crossed out because I don’t even want this associated with my other top teams.

#6: Utah Blizzard

The lower I get on this list the more I realize how much I hate these team names. After this, I’m going to look up all the names the Wild had when they came to Minnesota. I’m not going to disown this one like I did Glaciers, but even I’ll be willing to say this one might be in front of more deserving team names.

#5: Utah Yeti

This would be sweet just because it’s compared to Big Foot, which is dope. The Utah Yeti has a nice ring to it and doesn’t sound like straight buffoonery off the tongue like some of these other ones.

#4: Utah Black Diamonds

Sleeper. These are my only words for this one.

#3: Utah Outlaws

This is 100% a name they give you when relocating in any NHL game. Now that I think about it is this how they came up with their list? I just always remember doing the Outlaws and can even imagine the logo they had for it.

Utah Outlaws Concept : r/Utah_Hockey

#2: Utah Mammoth

This one is growing on me. It’s like the Kraken when they first announced their name a couple of years back. The Utah Mammoth’s has a nice ring to it. If this one gets chosen I’ll be more than happy.

#1: Utah Powder

Do you know what will have Utah standing on its feet and cheering the entire game? SOME MOTHER FUCKING POWDER BABY! WOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! If Utah wants to have the best name it just has to be this one. I’m guessing whoever came up with this name was honoring the snow in Utah… Or maybe they are honoring Coyotes legend Adam Ruzicka who they had to cut this past February after posting a video on Instagram of himself doing some “powder”. Talk about an easy way to recruit players. Just ask them if they want to come to the “Utah Powders” and give them a little wink. They will know what you mean.

What do movies use for cocaine? | Cinemablend

Also not to get off subject but how dumb is Adam Ruzicka? Don’t get me wrong I’ve posted tons of videos of me doing dumb shit when I’m fucked up. But posting yourself doing some cocaine? Stupid.

A Name That Got Left Out

There are tons of names that other people could come up with. But there’s one that bothers me because it describes Utah so well. It’s been floating around heavily on social media. Let me introduce you to the Utah Super Soakers!

Would be a clean sweep for which one people vote. Not familiar with what a soaker is? You can find out just like Pat Bev did on his podcast.

There’s my rankings! Which one do you want the new Utah Hockey Team to get?

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