It’s Fall Time, So That Means Turtleneck Season… Or Does It?

Everything Else

Nothing is better then the fall season. Where leaves begin to fall, and the Minnesota Vikings lead off to a losing season. You know what I’m talking about, with the popularity of pumpkin spice lattes and your favorite flannel. I think it’s time we start talking about how beautiful a turtleneck (& chain) may be if you clean it properly. However some people feel that a turtle neck may be too uncomfortable and may choose to remove it as a possibility via self circumcision.

What the fuck is right! Upon reading this I didn’t even have words, I just kinda sat in my feelings for a solid five to ten minutes.

To be entirely honest, I’m even struggling on how to continue/finish this blog. I’ve been writing this for hours, already. Please send help.

The least surprising thing out of all of this is that something weird came out of Burnsville. I just didn’t expect it to be human flesh.

Honestly, what the hell was the thought process here? In what world would this ever go well for anyone, and let alone look better?

What’s the point of this turtleneck nonsense?

Nothing. This is all very strong “I had to see it and so do you” energy. I want you to feel as terrible as I do. For the sake of comedy, I’ll try a spin zone here.

Guys. Listen. Regardless of whether you have a turtleneck sweater, are rocking too many chains under your shirt, or your hat doesn’t quite match the rest of your outfit… Please don’t take a blade to yourself. You may just end up on twitter, or even my blog.