If you’re reading this you’re probably thinking, “what the hell kind of headline is this?!”. That was my reaction after seeing the AccuWeather post outlining the statement on Twitter this morning. There are actually places in this country that have banned, of all things, sledding.
Where is the logic?Now I know it’s 2020 and all, but what the hell are we even doing here?!?! It’s as absurd of a law as I have ever heard in my life; right up there with banning bullet-proof vests while committing a crime! It may be second to California filling in skate parks with sand, but it’s not far off. You’re telling me that little Timmy and Johnny next door are going to get a triple digit fine for taking some sleds down a public hill? That is BANANAS.
Who is to blame?
Debbie Downer and Karen sitting on the city council HAVE TO have more common sense or at least better things to do; just pick one, please. The worst part about the article is how the title seemingly lumps Minnesota in with this crowd of lunatics. Let the record show that the “Upper Midwest” is not associated with this sledding ban as we have working frontal lobes. We’ve gone through and ranked Minnesota’s favorite neighbors, and there’s a reason Iowa was at the bottom of the list. Those Idiots are Out Walking Around this winter because they can’t go sledding anymore.Unfortunately, this is not just another “Iowa problem”. Each of the Midwestern “I” states have implemented sledding bans in various parts of their respective states. I find it even more strange because these places are flatter than a bad pancake and I didn’t even know they had hills at all. Honestly, we should have seen this coming from a basketball state like Indiana; it’s always about the “I” and not the “WE”…thanks Lebron.
“Fuck the Police” – Ice Cube
Every child that is able to should have the right to go sledding when it snows. Hell, it’s one of the only positive parts about winter coming around when you’re growing up! Snow days are being completely eliminated with remote learning, which is a separate travesty for another blog, but now they’re taking sledding away on top of that!? I won’t stand for it. I will sit down in my little piece of plastic and zoom right down a hill.The fine line between getting fast enough to have fun and going too fast is a CRITICAL development point for kids. It’s out on the hills where you really learn some of life’s greatest lessons: Risk management when choosing the right hill. Rewarding effort for climbing the higher hills. Patience and/or Vengeance when someone crashes into you and puts you ass over a tea kettle. Learning when to bail if you’re headed towards a wall, a pond, or a road. All of these are valuable life lessons that can and should be carried throughout the rest of one’s life.
Our legal counsel, Brew, has told me I can’t explicitly recommend blatantly ignoring the laws forbidding you from sledding. With that in mind, I’ll simply state that even if the cops do find you out on the hill… one of you will have a sled, and one of you will not. If the whole Area 51 thing has taught us anything, they can’t catch all of us.
I’ve been hit by cars three times, which is an indication of how stubborn I am.
I write about everything across the board, but focus on Hockey and the pain that is Minnesota sports.
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