Food is something that is on the minds of humans almost all the time. We’ve been programmed since the dawn of man to eat, sleep, and f*ck. Personally, I’m thinking immediately the moment I wake up: what should I have for Breakfast? From a boozy brunch to a delicious dinner, there are endless options on what to eat in a day. Every now and then, people decided to share these plates of joy on the internet for followers to see what they’re eating. This past Tuesday, a certain plate of BBQ made waves on Twitter.com, and for the wrong reasons:
Excited is not a word to describe this dog shit.We love Justin here at 10k. He’s one of the nicest guys around and the guys up top always have good things to say about him. That being said, HOW ON EARTH WERE YOU EXCITED FOR THAT?!?! Let’s take this item by item. Because even if the main side is comparable to tree bark, the rest of the plate is downright depressing.
Let’s start with the ribs. Right away, we see zero coloring in those pork (?) ribs. Were they even seasoned at all? It looks like they were made in fucking hot dog water. No crisp or burnt aspect to it either, which is important with any BBQ staple. Even worse, they lack sauce, which means you are asking me to eat a couple chunks of sandpaper, DRY!On to the Mac and Cheese. If you take the shredded cheese off the top, this could sit hand and hand with a grocery store potato salad. Prove me wrong. Except in this case, I might actually take the mushy potato salad. And shells instead of elbow noodles? Child’s play. I’m hoping the Mac and Cheese made up for the dog food somewhat, but I would bet that it didn’t.
Lastly, let’s talk about that side cup of brown water called the “sauce”. I would guess there’s enough sauce to cover maybe two of those ribs. After that, he’s using mental fortitude and spit to choke down those ribs. I would elaborate, but the side cup is hiding behind the Mac. Probably was no use, kind of like watching the Twins this summer. With this tweet gaining a lot of traction, it was nice to know I wasn’t alone in my opinion.You have to wonder why our man went out of his way for this plate of madness. Lindsay’s BBQ exists in Jordan, a town well on the outskirts of the Twin Cities. Thank god everyone, we can all mark ourselves save from this plate of Vietnam War rations. You are hopefully not going to Lindsay’s on purpose, but deserve to be arrested if you went there on accident. I would have to bet big money this was not on the hot list of foods to get in the Twin Cities. All fun and games, I hope Justin can find a better outlet for his BBQ needs. He clearly needs it.
Professional Driver. Lover of all things sports. I once cut meat for Paul Allen and Mark Rosen. I talk on a podcast about men hugging each other aggressively.